“Everything sure is great, isn’t it?”
“Yeah, absolutely. I can’t think of a single possible thing that could make my life better.”
“More steak?”
“Nah; I’ve got plenty.”
“More bacon?”
“I already eat it four times a day…”
“More steak wrapped in bacon?”
“…I think you may have something there.”
“Say hello to my little friend,” sneered the dark-haired man.
“Hello,” I said.
“Hello,” said his little friend.
“Are you new to town?” I asked.
“Yeah, I moved last week,” she replied. “I like it a lot here, but it’s hard to meet people.”
“Tell me about it!” I said.
The rearview mirror held a terrifying apparition:
An entire herd of rampaging bovine destroyers trailed behind us, rage and hunger dancing in their eyes.
“Don’t stop! Stomp on the gas!” I shouted, but Georgia wordlessly pointed at the fuel gauge.
The cows advanced, and we were all out of grapefruit…
He could lift a truck off the ground with nothing but two fingers and a crane.
He could fly short distances by kicking his legs and holding his breath.
He could breathe through his nose and his mouth at the same time.
He was my best friend, and I hated him.
Two glowing eyes peered at me from the shadows: wolves.
I blinked, and there were four eyes. Then six. Then ten.
Then… Thirteen?
I did a quick recount. Thirteen? That didn’t make sense. Had one lost an eye in a fight?
Ah, it had just been winking. I winked back.
Congratulations to all of the winners of A Mere 50 Words!
If you’ve been following the stories this week, you’ll see that the five winners have now been posted. For your convenience, here’s the list:
Grand Prize: Michael Penny, “The Future’s Bright”
First Runner Up: Seamus Dobbin, “The Future of Humanity is Now”
Honourable Mention: King Kool, “Beneath Large Scallop Shells”
Honourable Mention: Proteem Bhaduri, “The Intruder”
Honourable Mention: Jeremiah Lewis, “The Other Girl”
I want to say thank you to everyone who entered. I got way more response than I expected, and there are a lot of entertaining stories sitting in my email inbox! I realize this is something that gets said after every single contest, but I did have a hard time picking the winners. There are a lot of people who could easily have qualified for an Honourable Mention or better, but in the end I had to limit myself to five prizes.
The good news is that I’ll probably be sharing a lot of the other submissions on the site in later days as guest-writer stories, so if you submitted something you may still get a chance to see it go up on the site!
In the future I’m sure I’ll do something like this again. It was a lot of fun, and it was really encouraging to see how many people were willing to sit down for a few minutes and put themselves to the challenge I’ve been facing every day for the past seven months.
Let me know what you thought of the stories by leaving a comment or sending an email to tim@fiftywordstories.com!
Thanks again, everyone!
Tim
“…humans gained ultraviolet vision, but found that its effect when combined with ordinary sight was disorienting. Hence the initiative to recolour our everyday surroundings to a sufficiently distinct hue….”
Dave hurriedly threw the lever, and the Twenty-First Century reasserted itself around him.
“It’s true, Jimmy! The future really is orange!”
“I’m sorry, sir, we’ll simply have to assign you an entirely new model.”
The Hardware Maintenance Commission representative smiled sympathetically, leafing through his papers.
“I know this procedure can be painful, but unfortunately your current version is no longer the standard.”
I sighed, lifting my son out of his stroller.
“You find me attractive?” The mermaid asked the derelict sailor.
“Absolutely.” He nodded. “Don’t you agree?”
She frowned. “No merman did.”
It seemed impossible. “Why?” he asked.
“My figure,” she said. “I’m not streamlined.”
“Is that why humans only ever see mermaids with curvaceous figures?”
“We go where we’re appreciated.”
They weren’t there before I slept last night. I would have noticed for sure. The dusty shapes stood out in stark contrast on the otherwise pristine surface. Size 9 at a guess. Two sizes larger than my own. Two clearly defined footprints.
Why the hell were they on my ceiling?