4 thoughts on “DAVID WING: The Marvelous…

  1. Clever story, but the words “metal impacted” kept making my brain think about bullets. Then I spotted Tim’s words in blue under the title and read it again for the fourth time. Maybe substituting the words “knives striking” for “metal impacting” could make a cleaner punch line. It’s your story, of course…

    1. Sometimes I interfere in stories’ wording; sometimes I let them stand for themselves; sometimes I try to be “helpful” in the tags.

      It can be a tough balance to know how much credit to give readers for “figuring it out on their own”, and how much to prioritize clarity over artistry.

      Your comments are helpful to me, as an editor, for answering those questions.

      1. I think it’s all about knowing your audience. In a sense it can also be a self-fulfilling prophecy. One site I came across a while ago wanted stories that made readers work for the meaning and so probably attracted an audience that enjoyed doing that. There are probably people who read something once and if they don’t get the meaning, they’ll read something else they can get instant gratification from. I do admit though that it would be pretty hard to please all the people all of the time.

        1. I liked the term “metal impacting” because it had a harsh sound like the knifes cutting into the backdrop and got the meaning right away. Fun story!

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