The Man Behind the Bling

The mobster had many fancy rings. His fingers were all the same size, due to a meat-packing factory accident, so he frequently rearranged his rings in patterns.

Sometimes he sent messages to his CIA handler using ring-based codes, but mostly he tried to distract people from his freaky-weird breakfast-sausage-shaped digits.

The Winged Ark

He dreamed of flying.

Every day he stayed home, sequestered himself in his workshop, and pursued his dream.

He considered himself the Noah of the twenty-first century. The global flood was coming, and he would live in the sky.

But he was not this era’s Noah: he was its Daedalus.

Tomorrow

I am getting married tomorrow.

For those of you on the east coast, or in Europe, tomorrow is already today. I envy you.

Today has been a busy day. Tomorrow will be, as well. That’s why I’m writing this instead of a real story.

I hope you don’t mind. Thanks!

Caught With His Tongue in the Toilet Bowl

“Ruff woof,” said Fido, wagging his tail, but Max just said, “Bad dog,” and put him out in the back yard, because Max didn’t understand the witty wordplay (barkplay?) Fido was using, which involved a canine equivalent of something like “putting the ‘toy’ in ‘toilet’,” and was really very clever.

What You Gotta Do

Would you do what I did if you knew what I know?

You’d like to think you would. Heck, I’d like to think you would, too. But I know you. I know a lot of things. I doubt you would have followed through.

Sick puppies make messes that scar psyches.

Bathroom Floor Philosophy

Scrib scrub, scrib scrub…

Inch by inch, the tiled floor returned to its original lustre.

The scrubber had mixed feelings about the procedure. On the one hand, it was a tedious chore. But on the other hand, it was a pain in the butt.

Actually, his feelings were pretty consistent.