God commanded the dinosaurs to become vegetarians so they could board Noah’s Ark.

“But we love meat,” they said.

God commanded them again, and one T-rex told God to take a hike.

God hurled the Chicxulub asteroid into the Gulf of Mexico, destroying them all. Dinosaurs had really small brains.

Michael Coolen is a composer, pianist, actor, and writer who lives in Corvallis, Oregon.