A man trudged from his job in the service industry—the only work he could get—when a thug held him at gunpoint.

“Don’t shoot!” he begged.

The thug fired once… and felt seven rounds pierce his own chest.

“How…!?” he protested, dying.

“The name’s Cain,” the waiter replied miserably.

E.O. thinks there are probably some people in the world who should never be poked with a stick. Ever. Like gynecologists and postal employees.