Category Archives: Amusing

JOHN FOWLER: The Visit

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

It was spring when she arrived, a broomstick-riding hag, dark and ugly. Dad claimed she belonged on the pages of Macbeth, stirring a bubbling cauldron!

She set up camp at our front gate and stayed for days on end.

After a week, Dad surrendered, telling Mom, “Let your mother in.”

John Fowler served twenty years in the US Air Force before retiring and starting a second career in the IT field. He is also a Lay Pastor serving a small church near his home in Texas. His hobbies include reading, golfing, and writing.

JOEY TO: The Seeker

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

Single male, 30s, new in town, never married, professional, healthy, looking for love w/ woman.

…

Male, early 30s, seeking good company or just to show me around town.

…

Male. Dinner and movie. Any genre.

…

Male offering meal. Can cook. Not a health freak.

…

Lift to airport. (For 1 + luggage.)

Joey tries to write a little. For a good time, visit joeytoey.com. Or don’t.

DANIEL SLATEN: The Most Successful Man in the World

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

No one could be that driven, they said.
No one could possibly work that hard, they said.
No one could be that tireless, focused, and dedicated, they said.

And yet it still came as a shock to everyone when it was revealed that the man was, in fact, a robot.

Daniel Slaten writes short stories and poetry in small notebooks and on sticky notes.

BOB THURBER: The Father of the Bride and the Open Bar

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

I never called them stupid for marrying. That wasn’t in my speech. I was drunk but I remember exactly what I said before somebody yanked the microphone away. I said he was a couple rides short of a carnival and that her sewing machine had obviously run out of thread.

Over the years Bob Thurber’s work has received a long list of awards and prizes. His most recent book is a collection of brief stories titled “Nothing But Trouble”. Visit BobThurber.net.

GORDON LYSEN: Chalk It Up to Imagination

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

The smell of the chalk dust reminded him of some past dated food. He imagined thousands of others who would have breathed it in and eventually gone to their graves having never exhaled it entirely.

Ninety eight more lines to go.

He scrawled, “I promise not to daydream in class.”

Gordon Lysen resides in Manitoba, Canada, and spends his time between the city of Winnipeg and his true home at Sugar Point on Lake Manitoba. Retired from police work after some 27 years, Gordon co-authored the novel “A Deadly Blend of Souls” with his wife, Lisa. Writing and painting are Gordon’s relaxation methods when retirement becomes too stressful.

JAMES P SPITZNOGLE: Her Finest Work

Adventure, Amusing, Submissions, Top Stories, , , ,

It had been a chore, but she had finally gotten her husband to sit still for a portrait.

She took her time, trying to completely capture him: his peaceful expression, the slight messiness of his brown hair, the blood slowly pouring from the cut in his neck.

Simply a masterpiece.

James P. Spitznogle is an aspiring writer from the icy hills of West Virginia.

OZZIE NOGG: Dining Out in Papua New Guinea

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

The Asmat chief’s wife tossed banana, yam, cassava and butterfly larva into the pot. When the stew bubbled she filled her husband’s bowl.

“Ick. My mother’s was thicker,” he groused. “This needs more body.”

The Asmat chief’s wife added him to the pot. “Now I win me four Michelin stars.”

Ozzie Nogg’s Flash Fiction has been published in Diddledog, Dew on the Kudzu, Apollo’s Lyre, FLASHSHOT, Apocrypha and Abstractions, and 50 to 1. Her very short work, Escape From Crete, is represented in the 100 Stories for Haiti Anthology. In 2003, her story, Blue Plate Special, appeared in MARGIN: Exploring Modern Magic Realism, and was later nominated for a Pushcart Prize. Her book of personal stories, Joseph’s Bones, won First Place in the 2005 Writer’s Digest Press International Self-Published Book Awards. Ozzie’s foray into poetry, Occasioned by George’s Visit, Two Bottles of Chablis and Vol. 155 No. 4 of National Geographic, can be read online at Archeology Magazine. Visit her at: rabbisdaughter.com.

RACHEL BURNS: Customer Service

Amusing, Artistic, Submissions, , , ,

The waitress squared her shoulders and marched over. “Whatchuwant?” she asked.

He didn’t look up. Thick fingers anguished his thinning hair. “Just pie,” he said, head hung.

“Kind?”

“Pecan.”

Deafjerk didn’t even notice me, she thought, and spit—just a little—on her ex-husband’s slice before the dollop of cream.

Rachel Burns is a current student whose latest writing project is a chapbook collection of flash fiction and poetry.

GINNY GIRAUDI: The Potato Story

Amusing, Odd, Submissions, , , , , ,

As I was peeling potatoes one got away and hit the floor. It disappeared.

Einstein says when one object strikes another there is an infinitesimally small chance the vibrations of each will cause them to pass right through each other.

I checked, but the potato wasn’t in the basement either.

Ginny Giraudi is a science writer living in Mississauga.

HOPE GLIDDEN: The Runaway

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

She packed their lunches, made their beds and started their dinner in the slow cooker. A lovely stew, seasoned with thyme and rosemary.

After her bags were packed and loaded into the god-awful minivan, she wondered if they would truly miss her. Or simply replace her with another obedient robot.

Hope Glidden is a paralegal by day and a sometimes-writer by not. She is most definitely not a robot.