Category Archives: Amusing

STUART LARNER: Just In Time

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

“Even though you saw your errant husband cremated you still think he’s here in your kitchen?”

“Yes,” she said, regulating the hob and studying the egg timer. “He was always running off when we were married, but now he’s in here so I can keep a close eye on him.”

Stuart is a chartered psychologist, and was mental health expert for XL for Men magazine. He writes plays, poems, and stories. http://stuartlarner.blogspot.com/. He is a cricket enthusiast in North Yorkshire, UK. His latest ebook “Guile and Spin” is available on Amazon.

JOHN KUJAWSKI: The Pretzel

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

I bought a pretzel at a pretzel stand.  The guy behind the counter told me they were addictive.

I went back later that week but I didn’t have any money.  I robbed the man at gunpoint and took all his pretzels.

I ate them all at home.  The shaking stopped.

John has interests that range from guitars to the Incredible Hulk.  He was born and raised in St. Louis, Missouri.

LEWIS COLE: Rampage

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

The youth stomped in disjointed unison through the crowded shopping complex. They had their target in their sights and wouldn’t relent until they had done what they had set out to do.

She was scared.

Running from the hooded gang, she stopped, and was cornered.

“Miss, you forgot your handbag.”

Lewis Cole is an English author who writes leisurely . He aims to improve his writing abilities with practice. His work can be found at http://coleshideyhole.blogspot.co.uk.

GARY CLIFTON: ‘Roids

Amusing, Submissions, ,

The kid was the complete package: speed, size, common sense, even keel. He couldn’t miss.

Then he developed the worst case of hemorrhoids they’d ever seen and could never recover his edge.

“The most outstanding prospect we’ve ever had, ruined by piles, for Pete’s sake,” the GM blabbed after six martinis.

Gary Clifton, forty years a Federal officer, has an M.S. from Abilene Christian University and has short fiction pieces published in Spinetingler, Broadkill Review, Yellow Mama, and Dumb Butt Mag.

VINCENT MARS: Boys and Girls

Amusing, Submissions, , , , ,

John loved Marie, but she loved Jon. To Marie’s sorrow, Jon loved Maria, who did not love anyone. John wooed Marie while she wooed Jon. Meanwhile, Jon secretly wooed Maria. One day, Maria saw John for the first time. She fell madly in love with him and began wooing him.

Vincent Mars posts a 50-word story on his blog on every workday.

DANIEL MKIWA: Remembering Ralphie

Amusing, Submissions, ,

“He woulda loved this.”

“Ralphie?”

“Yeah. Y’know, sneakin’ around at night… Diggin’ a hole in the dark… Then back into town before the bars close.”

“Heh.”

“Ralphie loved this kinda stuff.”

“Yeah.”

“Okay, it’s deep enough now. You grab his ankles; I’ll take his shoulders. Careful.”

“Rest in peace, Ralphie.”

Daniel Mkiwa is a writer. He lives in the Los Angeles area. Check out his writing blog at http://www.mkiwa.com.

A Date With a Grocery Cashier

Amusing, , ,

My date was muttering to herself again.

“Something on your mind?” I asked.

She looked up bashfully. “It’s just… They’re overcharging pretty severely for these meals. Based on the ingredient prices, anyways.”

“Think you could take off your Grocery Cashier apron for tonight?”

She sighed. “Sorry. This is my curse…”

This story was based on a title suggested by @Lost_inthe_Void.

Now We Are Three

Amusing, ,

“Tim, are you almost done writing your silly stories? It’s dinner time.”

“Yep; nearly finished.”

Some time passed.

“Tim? Come on.”

“Just a minute.”

More time went by. I realized I hadn’t been nagged recently. I stepped into the kitchen. “Whoa, how long was I in there?”

“Three years.”

This is the final story of the third year of 50-word stories! I plan to finish off the week, and then take a break for some bonus guest stories while I plan out the site’s future.

Eat Your Ice Cream, Bart

Amusing, , ,

“Eat your ice cream, Bart,” said Mom.

“But I want more broc’li!”

“You are what you eat,” Mom reminded him, “and all these vegetables are making you grow up far too fast. I want my little sweetie back!”

Bart grimaced grumpily.

“I’ll put carrot shavings on it,” Mom offered.

“Fine.”

This story was based on a title suggested by my sister Catherine.

Competitive Sleeping

Amusing, ,

“Among the demonstration events at these 2012 Olympic Games is Sleep Endurance: our two remaining competitors are nearly 48 hours beyond the previous world record.”

“That’s right, Jim. Wait, the referee’s signalling… It’s over! It seems the Brazilian competitor has died. ‘Snorebox’ Jones wins the gold! Let’s go awaken him.”

This story was based on a title suggested by @MetalTeeth9.