Seven-year-old Kyle sold strawberries on Saturdays. He got exactly six customers every hour; he counted them.
Then one Saturday, between one o’clock PM and two o’clock PM, he had nine customers.
Three of them didn’t buy anything, though. “The more things change,” Kyle sighed, “the more they stay the same.”
“I hate cereal! I tell you this every. Single. Morning.”
“If you want waffles or bacon you’re free to prepare them yourself.”
“No way! That’s a MOM’s job!”
“Are you paying me?”
He was supposed to be. It cost thirty bucks an hour to get someone from Made Of Maids.
Scott and Christine were ecstatic. They were being inducted into the LEGO Sculptors Hall of Fame!
They took a LEGO cake out of their LEGO freezer, popped open a bottle of LEGO champagne, and celebrated together by watching the Discovery Channel on their LEGO TV.
“We’ve finally arrived,” they said.
Thanks to @Aaron416 for responding to my call on Twitter for prompts. I asked for two names and an emotion, and he responded with Scott, Christine, and ecstatic.
The ant on Amy’s desk grew even bigger.
Amy looked around. No one seemed to notice.
The ant stared at Amy with its dinner plate-sized eyes, then sprouted wings and flew towards Mrs. Spencer, who screamed. Amy smiled.
”Do you find biology amusing, Amy?” Mrs. Spencer asked with a frown.
Emaan, 13, loves to write!
No one in Joel’s family knew the difference between alligators and crocodiles, so he decided to find out for himself.
Joel stalked Florida’s swamps, taking pictures and making notes. After several long, hard weeks, he had his answer:
The alligators liked eating his legs, while the crocodiles preferred his arms.
PIs’ apartments are worthless, but this was mine.
The thug inside had broken my seal on the door. The tape was like my services: cheap but effective. I felt less fear than the tape, though.
I relieved my holster of its lopsidedness.
The doorknob was cold. Soon, he would be.
Charlie Dunn is a college student studying abroad in Japan. He also wrote Full Count.
He peered over the edge of the bridge.
“Are you sure it won’t snap?”
“It’ll be fine,” she assured him. “Hundreds of people bungie jump here every year.”
“Safely?”
“Stop worrying and jump!”
“Fine.” He jumped.
Her cellphone rang. “What happened!? He’s still alive!”
“Sorry, boss. I couldn’t do it.”
When he had finished digging, he lined the pit with plastic and ran a hose into it. He watched proudly as his makeshift swimming pool filled up.
He had always dreamed of being a lifeguard. All he needed now were some babes to save.
He put up signs and waited.
“Grandmother, what big eyes you have!” said Little Red Riding Hood.
“The better to see you with, my dear,” said Grandmother.
“And what a big nose you have!”
“The better to smell you with, my dear.”
“And what big teeth!”
“Fusspots,” muttered Grandmother. “I put in your grandfather’s dentures again.”
I gave my dad a pair of socks for Fathers’ Day. They were gray and had a mouse face on them with whiskers sticking out from the toes.
They were a gag gift, but he wore them all day.
I also paid to reattach his toe after the cat incident.