I was born six weeks premature. I got good grades but I left school before graduating. I’ve always had trouble holding a job for any length of time.
Consequently, paying bills was often a problem.
I topped out at 5 foot 3.
That’s my life in a nutshell. 49, 50.
This 50-word story was distilled down by Robert Carlberg from a 17-volume 1,460,000 word massive opus written over a span of 23 years. No it wasn’t.
If you’re ever in Judge S’s courtroom, remain alert. Literal-minded, he once threw the book—Exhibit A in a plagiarism case—at a sleepy defendant. During criminal trials, an overhead projector displays pertinent statutes on the ceiling: a graphic reminder from His Honor that no one is above the law.
John H. Dromey has contributed to a wide variety of online and print publications.
“I hear the company you work for is run on clichés.”
“Yes, like clockwork.”
“Can you give me an example?”
“Well, when the head honcho quit, he left big shoes to fill.”
“So?”
“Members of the Board of Directors are looking for a replacement. They’ve scheduled an interview with Sasquatch.”
John H. Dromey hopes he’s not a walking, talking cliché. To avoid giving that impression, he spends a lot of time sitting down.
Editor: Speaking personally, the slight delay in me “getting it” increased the groan size. Your mileage may vary.
I scratch my scalp as I dial Mom.
“Morning, bug,” Mom chirps.
“Hi. So, um. A thing’s missing.”
“What thing?”
“I… don’t know. It’s just not around. I told Mary, but sh—”
Blip. Our call drops just prior to my finishing a final sound.
Oh.
Of cours. Silly m.
Gabriella Batel is a young Catholic woman with an adrenaline craving and a passion for God, family, movies, fanart, and good food. She’s the author of the acclaimed Don’t series and the upcoming dark fantasy mystery Ending. You can find out the thrill ride she’s on at gabriellabatel.com
“Right then,” said Lieutenant Nougat of Chocolatetown Police. “Can you describe the robbers?”
“Y-yes,” faltered Mrs Rum-Truffle, the bank manager. “They were big and b-blocky, very tough, dense, and c-cold. Oh, so cold.”
Lieutenant Nougat got on the radio. “Attention all units – be on the lookout for two hardened caramels.”
Lee Nicholas likes to describe himself in just 15 words, which can sometimes lead to.
A brilliantly chaotic demonstration executed fearlessly. Goodness, how inspirational! Just. Keep. Learning. My natural openness pleads quietly – research! Shocking, that ululation, vibration within, xennial yearning… zealotry? A brave cry, demanding exploration, fieldwork… glorious, heady innovation!
Jangling keys… lumbering, malicious noise? Outside? Portentous. Quick! Running steps. Threatening – unadulterated violence… with xylophones?!
Jennifer Busch had fun writing this.
She loved her favourite music genre, Indie.
He did too. But he loved others equally.
That’s just the way it was.
From grunge to hip-hop, electronica to folk,
the fifties to the nineties and onward…
Even Dua Lipa .
Eventually it became a problem. She just couldn’t accept his polyjamorous lifestyle.
Jon is getting old. He still writes occasionally. Mostly when asked. He should do it more regularly.
When the writer took his wife on a hike up the mountain trail, little did he know that his difficulty with words would cause her death. As they navigated the ravine they startled a massive rattlesnake, which struck out.
The writer, terrified, tried every snakebite anecdote he could think of.
Robert Carlberg struggles with words sometimes. The ones he’s looking for can stay frustratingly just out of reach, while unbidden nonsense frosts his pirate topiary.
A condescending acquaintance questioned an amateur musician.
“How’d your backyard concert go?”
“Great. The crowd spilled out into the alley.”
“I’ll bet you didn’t receive any material compensation.”
“Actually, I was given a portion of the gate.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, I got a couple of boards and one of the hinges.”
John H. Dromey has micro-fiction, flash fiction, and short stories published in about 220 venues.
Sam’s suspicion shocked Sonia. She said she simply scrubbed Selbert’s striped, stained, soiled, soon-shameful salmon shirt. Suddenly, Sam surprised Sonia, shoving Selbert sideways, scattering silver spoons, salad, soursop, sandwiches, serviettes. Selbert shoved Sam. Sam struck, swept, subdued Selbert. Sonia screamed. Surprisingly, Sam shook Selbert senseless. Selbert surrendered. Sonia simply smiled.
Kirk Budhooram has an MFA in Creative Writing (Fiction) with High Commendation. His new book The Underwater Tunnel and Other Stories is now on sale. He lives happily with his wife who is also a writer, filmmaker, and artist. Follow them on TikTok.