Buy Now for a Free Personal Story

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Have you ordered yourself a copy of Fifty-Word Stories: Volume Two yet? If not, then here’s a bit of added incentive.

Everyone who buys Volume Two in print between today and November 5, 2011, will receive a free personal story written into their book! This will be a completely unique story, based on your title suggestion, that will never be posted anywhere else. Normally a personal story is worth $5, but for the next week and a bit, you get yours free.

This offer applies to all bundle purchases, as well, as long as the bundle includes a copy of Volume Two.

After November 5, personal stories will go back to being $5, so don’t miss out!

Cycles

Artistic, Touching, , , , ,

For one summer, we were best of friends. Autumn undid us, something in the changing colours, the changing winds.

We hardly spoke during tenth grade. Then June arrived. I hoped, childishly, that the sunlight would reunite us.

Life may move in cycles, but you never cross the same river twice.

The Prince and the Tree Giant

Amusing, , , , ,

“Clippity clop” went the horses’ hooves as they pulled the prince’s chariot along the forest path.

“No way!” said Milly.

“What now?” asked Dad.

“Horse hooves only go ‘clippity clop’ on hard surfaces, and what kind of forest has paved paths?”

Richard found it very irksome raising a child prodigy.

Fix My Problem

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, , , , , ,

“Do you have Polygons for sale?”

“Certainly, sir!”

“Excellent. They’re just what I need to solve my problem. You see, lately it’s felt like part of me is missing…”

“Very strange. And you think new Polygons will help?”

“Probably not, but I hope they’ll at least solve my parrot infestation.”

Trouble With the Neighbours

Amusing, , , , ,

Billy Goat was waiting in the yard when Mrs. Wolf came strolling by with her son in a stroller.

“Good morning,” said Mrs. Wolf.

“Have you seen my squirrel?” said Billy, icily.

“Your little pet?” Something inside the stroller squeaked desperately. “Ah,” said Mrs. Wolf. “Well, boys will be boys!”

CS DeWILDT: The Odds

Amusing, Submissions, Touching, , , , ,

We killed nearly the entire frog population that summer, Matt with the bat, me with the hoe. Years later I read in the obits that Matt died choking on frog legs. Why was that detail in the obits? Only I knew about the frogs. Fate? Nope, bound to happen eventually.

CS DeWildt’s stories appear on Bartleby Snopes, Word Riot, The Bicycle Review, Mobius Magazine, Writer’s Bloc, and The Foundling Review. His novella Candy and Cigarettes is available at http://www.vagabondagepress.com/bookstore.html.

My Glock and Spiel

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, , , , ,

“No one listens. NO ONE EVER LISTENS!!”

In the corner, several people were cowering. “Are you going to let us go?”

The irate tuxedoed gentleman whirled in fury, brandishing a handgun. “No!” he cried. “Ignorant fools. Listen. Appreciate. Learn. Grow.”

The captives cringed as the musician bent over his glockenspiel.

This story is based on a title suggested by @Jillers.

Keys For Success

Amusing, , ,

“Don’t forget your keys, dear.”

“Yes, mom.”

“Can you recite them for me, just to be sure?”

“Yes, mother… Patience. Perseverance. Perspective. Practicality. Proactivity.”

“Precisely! Oh, my brilliant, handsome young man. You’re going to make a great dictionary engineer.”

“Sure, unless they assign me somewhere other than the P division.”

Cataloguing Errors

Amusing, , , ,

Kevin clung desperately to the lip of the mile-high cliff, wondering which of today’s six poor choices had been most to blame for his predicament.

His sweat-slick palms gave way, and too late he noticed the ledge he could have dropped safely onto.

So, the seventh mistake, then.

Hope Keeps Dancing

Artistic, ,

Hope wasn’t a talented dancer, but a massive crowd was gathered around the field, watching her sway and leap.

“Park’s closing!” advised a groundskeeper. “She’ll still be here tomorrow. Always is.”

“Does she ever stop?” asked a tourist.

“Not in ten years. Just slows down a bit now and then.”