NEWS: Special Monday!

Every Monday, I post a story submitted by a reader. These stories have proven to be very popular. In fact, four of the ten highest rated stories from the past 365 days were written by guests.

But today is going to be a bit unique: instead of a single guest story, I’ll be sharing three stories!

Here’s why: on January 11, in a span of about ten minutes, I received more than fifteen story submissions from a Creative Writing class at Liberty High School in Colorado Springs, Colorado. It blew my mind and made my day. I’d love to share all of the stories I received, but that would probably overwhelm the site, so I had to just pick a few. It was really hard for me to pick just three, but I think everyone will enjoy these stories, while I selfishly keep the rest to myself for now.

Thank you so much to the class and the teacher for sending your stories my way! I hope you all had fun with the assignment, and I’d love to see more stories from all of you in the future!

P.S. I’ve been trying to get in touch with the teacher of the class, but I haven’t managed to so far. If you see this, send me an email at tim@fiftywordstories.com! I’d love to hear more about what led your class to undertake this challenge together.

Deep Fried Fig Newtons

She had a burning but unrequited love. The way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, so she transformed herself into a microorganism and crawled up his intestines.

She discovered some deep fried fig newtons in there, which intensified her affections.

She lived in his heart until he died.


Based on a title suggested by Dan Hingston via Facebook.

NEWS: Book Release Details

It’s finally ready!

After months and months of hints, teasing, waiting, and delays, the release date for Fifty-Word Stories: Volume One has finally been set. The book will be available on January 31, 2011, and will cost $12 (plus shipping) in print, or $4 electronically.

Fifty-Word Stories: Volume One is a perfect-bound, six-inch by nine-inch book containing 58 pages of original content.

Available January 31, 2011.
Fifty-Word Stories: Volume One, available January 31, 2011.

Volume One contains 100 of the best stories I wrote on this site during my first year of work (February 22, 2009, to February 22, 2010). But I’m not just selling you a bunch of stories that you could read for free: most of the stories in the book have been improved in some way, whether that means the adjustment of a few words, a change in title, or a major rewrite. I’m really pleased with the improvements I’ve made to the stories contained in this book, and I think you’ll notice an upgrade in writing quality, as a whole. The book also includes bonus content in the form of some of my best nanofiction (stories written to fit within a single Twitter post), as well as a “Tips and Tricks” section that contains a plethora of pointers designed to help you write your own microfiction, based on my experience over the past two years.

There will be three ways to buy Volume One:

1) You will be able to order a copy of Volume One in print for $12 plus shipping via Lulu.com. There will be a link to my Lulu storefront from the FiftyWordStories.com Store.

2) You will be able to purchase and download a Volume One ebook bundle directly from the FiftyWordStories.com Store for $4. This bundle will include all three available ebook formats (PDF, ePub, and mobi), as well as a high-quality image of the cover. I’m not going to force anyone to pay multiple times to get the ebook in multiple formats.

3) You will be able to buy a Kindle-viewable version of the book directly from the Kindle Store for $4. I realize that it seems a little strange to offer this when you can buy all three formats bundled together for the same price, but a lot of people feel comfortable buying from the Kindle Store, so I want to make that option available. I recommend buying the bundle, not only because you get all of the formats together, but also because I receive more money that way, instead of surrendering a large part of my proceeds to Amazon. However, if you contact me and I am able to verify that you bought the book from the Kindle Store, I will send you the other formats, as well.

This book represents months of work in story selection, rewrites, formatting, layout, and cover design. I’d estimate that I’ve put close to a hundred hours into Volume One, not including the original time it took to write all the stories. I’m so close to pushing it out the door, and I’m really proud of the final product! I hope you enjoy it.

I’m planning a bit of extra fanfare for Launch Day, and I’ll keep you updated on what that’s going to look like during the lead-up to January 31.

What Would YOU Do For A Klondike Bar?

“Welcome to Slogan Loco, where we bring taglines to life!

“Last week, we ‘gave you a break, gave you a break; broke you off a piece of that Kit Kat bar’: each contestant fractured two bones in exchange for chocolate!

“This week, what would you do for a Klondike bar!?”


This was story was based on a title suggested by Jordan Sevenhuysen via Facebook.

Squeezy Huggables

“Ooh, it says it’s recommended by four-of-five early childhood educators!” said the young mother, hefting a brightly decorated box. “Two for the kids, then?”

“Why?” grunted her husband, eyeing the Squeezy Huggables Parental Affection Replacement Device suspiciously.

“Between this and a nanny, we wouldn’t have to touch them at all!”

The 9th Ave Bawdy House

The residents of what was colloquially known as the 9th Ave. Bawdy House were sad souls. They had abrasive personalities, they ate their fingernails, and they performed their “Yes, pleases” and “No, thank yous” with their mouths and their hands, but never their eyes.

They were rescued, but never saved.


This story was based on a request for prompts in the form of three adjectives beginning with the letters A, B, and C. The adjectives abrasive, bawdy, and colloquial, were provided by @LorGraham.