“Ladies and gentlemen of the Activision-Blizzard Board of Governers, we’ve called you here from your Hawaiian homesteads and your Caribbean estates for a very important meeting. This woman, Andrea Rhinestone, has developed potentially the most lucrative video game franchise concept since The Sims.”
“Three words,” said Andrea. “Hula. Hoop. Hero.”
“Why is there a manatee on the lunch room table.”
“It was the only table big enough to hold it.”
“But why…”
“We’re going to probe it with our new microscopic robots! Think of the benefits to our knowledge of marine mammal anatomy!”
“This science department has jumped the shark.”
This story was based on a prompt I received from @Charles_Mor on Twitter. He provided shark, table, and probe.
It’s Thursday. I hate Thursdays.
Thursdays are when the dames come, sobbing, pleading, and looking for a pro-bono Private Eye.
On Thursdays, I say “know” more often than a philosophy student who just learned about epistemology, but without the “k” and the “w”.
Today, I surprise myself. I say yes.
They found him in his living room.
He was known to drink to excess, but this was different. Everyone knew two things about Bill: he never wasted alcohol, and he kept his newspapers immaculate.
He’d spilled beer all over the paper. That’s how they knew it was a heart attack.
This story was based on a prompt from @davefp via Twitter. I asked for two nouns and a verb, and he supplied paper, heart, and drink.
“I say,” said the English gentleman, “I sure do speak a lot, do I not?”
“Perhaps, sir, it seems as though you say more things than you actually do, since you preface each statement with the words ‘I say’.”
“I say,” said the English gentleman. “I do believe you’re correct!”
“In communist Russia, buses drive you!” said the Moscow-basedtour guide, laughing.
“That doesn’t make sense,” said a Swedish tourist.
“In communist Russia, sense makes you!” said the tour guide. “Seriously, the bus is out of gas. Everyone get in the harness and pull. I’ll steer.” He readied his whip.
“Will you love me forever?” she whined.
“Yeeeah,” he said, rubbing her head. “‘I’ll only be gone for an hour or two. I’ll be back.”
“Promise?” she whimpered.
“I promise.”
He did come back, and he brought a new collar and leash with him.
His wife liked going for “walks”.
He was set to become the biggest thing since the Jonas Brothers when it all went wrong.
It started with the pimples. Makeup helped at first, but soon it got out of hand.
Then his voice started cracking, so he lip-synched his concerts.
But the haircut was the final straw.
This is a fifty-word retelling of JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. Don’t read if you want to avoid spoilers.
There was a big war and the wizard dude and his friends were all fighting.
Meanwhile, that Frodo dude and the Gollum thingy got to the volcano. Gollum stole the magic ring and fell in the lava.
There were a bunch of weddings, and some people sailed away on boats.
This is a fifty-word retelling of JRR Tolkien’s The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. Don’t read it if you want to avoid spoilers.
That Frodo dude hooked up with a froggy dude called Gollum and made a beeline for the volcano, but they had to fight this big stupid spider, which killed Frodo, except he didn’t actually die.
The wizard dude turned out not to be dead, either, so he went to war.