“What a waste of my time,” a disappointed business tycoon said. “That pretender claimed to have the Goose that Laid the Golden Egg, but he showed me a gander.”
“That explains a lot,” his appointment secretary said. “The sample he gave me was 24-karat gold, but it looked like crap.”
John H. Dromey has had short fiction published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, Stupefying Stories Showcase, and elsewhere.
The African explorer stopped his topless Land Rover when he saw the approaching grass fire. Hundreds of terrified baboons were running directly towards him.
Baboons lighten their bodies when running from danger.
After they leapt over his vehicle and continued fleeing, he deeply regretted leaving his Pith helmet in camp.
Michael Coolen is a composer, actor, performance artist, pianist and writer who lives in Corvallis, Oregon.
Would you do what I did if you knew what I know?
You’d like to think you would. Heck, I’d like to think you would, too. But I know you. I know a lot of things. I doubt you would have followed through.
Sick puppies make messes that scar psyches.
The cowboy walked up to the toddler, who was sitting on the cowboy’s hat. “Howdy!” he said.
“Doody!” said the toddler.
“Baw haw haw!” said the cowboy. “I love Howdy Doody! Great minds think alike, pardner!”
“Doody!”
“That’s right, you’ve–” The cowboy sniffed. “Aw, crap, little pardner. In my hat!?”