Tag Archives: silly

HARRY DEMAREST: A Long Walk

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

He was drunk. Staggering drunk.

I was the only guy, so I walked him to the bathroom, holding him up every step of the way. And every step I wondered just how much help he would need.

Fortunately, not much. I held him up while he peed on his shoe.

Harry Demarest has retired after careers encompassing scientific research, teaching at a university, software development, web application development, and voter database compilation and distribution. He is now spending his time with his grandchildren and writing memoirs and short stories.

STEVEN B: No Bones About It

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John awoke one day to find that all of his bones had been stolen.

Incensed, he painstakingly flopped his way to the house of his friend Jamal, suspecting he had something to do with it.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Jamal, a bloody chainsaw in his hand.

Steven B. is a human being who lives on the planet Earth.

DOUG ROBBINS: The Clown in My Closet

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My parents never believed me that I had an evil clown living in my closet until they met him one day.

“Stop telling tall tales,” mom would say, and dad would chime in, too. “Don’t be ridiculous.”

It took me days to remove my parents’ bloodstains from the carpet.

Doug has contributed to the popular horror anthology Demonic Visions 50 Horror Tales. Doug’s poetry is also featured in Poetry Quarterly and was an editor’s choice in a New England poetry publication.

ANTHONY J GEIST: Winner Winner Chicken Dinner

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“I am the winner!”

“How can you be? They called my name!”

A gaming commissioner intervened. “Gentlemen, gentlemen. What exactly IS the problem?”

“I am the winner!”

“NO WAY! I AM!”

“What was the name that was announced?” the commissioner interjected.

“John Jacob Jingleheimer-Schmitt. His name is my name too.”

Anthony J. Geist is a man of many words. In an effort to become concise, he is trying short prose, like “50 Word Stories.” Geist was inspired by two of his English professors in the lifelong pursuit of writing. He’s starting to get it. This bio is even fifty words.

MARIAN BROOKS: Surrender

Amusing, Submissions, Touching, , ,

Even maple leaves know when to let go, when to surrender. Not Bethany Carter. She holds on tight to her memories of Jeremiah Rambo.

He will be back. With a name like that, how could she forget?

Bethany visits his grave every Sunday simply to re-read the inscription, “Just Resting.”

Recently retired, Marian Brooks has begun to write some short fiction. Her work has appeared in Word Riot, First Stop Fiction, The Linnet’s Wings, Curly Red Stories and others. Read more of her work at marianbrooksauthor.com.

STUART TURNBULL: Bar Crawl

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“Three pitchers of beer, eight shots of bourbon, one white wine spritzer, one cosmop… Oh great! GUYS!  They already said no nudity in the bar. What? What? Yeah, calm down buddy, we’re going already. Three bars already. You’d think they could stay dressed for one drink!  Yeah, okay, we’re gone.”

Stuart is absent without leave from the majority of life and finds that writing helps him remain that way — he occasionally blogs a story at www.diamondsanddross.blogspot.com.

CHRISTIAN BLUNSCHI: We’ll Never Know

Amusing, Odd, Submissions, , ,

What in the world was she thinking as she stepped out onto the ledge of her 34th storey window?

We will never find out, because it was only seconds later that the feline revolution began and she was dragged back inside her studio apartment and devoured by her beloved cat.

Christian spends his days in a day job and occasionall, his mind will wander to strange places. He has some artwork on display at the following website: http://swissozculture.org.au/meet-our-members/creative-members/christian-blunschi/.

 

VINCENT MARS: Boys and Girls

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John loved Marie, but she loved Jon. To Marie’s sorrow, Jon loved Maria, who did not love anyone. John wooed Marie while she wooed Jon. Meanwhile, Jon secretly wooed Maria. One day, Maria saw John for the first time. She fell madly in love with him and began wooing him.

Vincent Mars posts a 50-word story on his blog on every workday.

So You Gave Birth to a Dinosaur

Amusing, Odd, , , ,

“So you say you gave birth to a… dinosaur.”

“Yes, doctor.”

“And that’s him, there? He looks quite normal to me.”

“He’s a dinosaur, really!”

“Well, if he is a dinosaur, when I place my finger in his mouth he should—HE BIT MY HAND OFF!!”

“I told you so.”

This was story was based on a title suggested by @Keab42.

Clarence’s Clarinet

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Clarence played his brand new clarinet very loud: Phweeee!!

It made his little sister angry, so he played it even louder: PHWEEEEEE!!!

In a puff of orange smoke, a genie appeared. It said, “I’ll grant you two wishes.”

Clarence wished for an even louder clarinet, and a pair of earplugs.