Tag Archives: Star Wars

WILLIAM MITCHELL: These Aren’t the Thoughts You’re Looking For

Amusing, Artistic, Submissions, , , , , , ,

The headaches – some days I can’t even focus, let alone work.

Squad medics didn’t care. “Compulsory invalid discharge” – military speak for “useless,” “fired.”

Ever since that day, when they had us hunting those droids, and that old man waved his hand and my mind wasn’t my own.

It still isn’t.

William Mitchell lives in East Sussex in the South of England. He is an award-winning author, having had early success with various Horror and Science Fiction publications before winning the Writers of the Future contest in 2012. His first novel, CREATIONS, came out in 2014 with John Hunt Publishing.

JOHN SHEIRER: Santa Nears Retirement

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

My neighbor told me that her son, Charlie, saw Santa at the mall the other day. Charlie asked Santa to get him a TIE Fighter from Star Wars for Christmas. Santa roared with approval and promised to get Charlie not only a typewriter, but some paper for it as well.

John Sheirer is the author of several books for adults and children. His most recent is a counting book called, Tim-Buck-Ten, featuring photos of his canine coauthor, Libby. Find John at johnsheirer.com.

HARRY DEMAREST: Automation

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

The North American Automated Missile Response System analyzes 1,542 sensors of all kinds. Final testing involved over a billion random simulations.

The combination of a power failure in DC, a fire in Chicago, an earthquake in Iowa, and a solar flare was one of the vigintillion conditions not tested.

Oops.

Harry Demarest has retired after careers encompassing scientific  research, teaching at a university, software development, web application development, and voter database compilation and  distribution. He is now spending his time with his grandchildren and writing memoirs and short stories.

Light vs. Dark

Amusing, , , , ,

“Luke, I’m your father!” said Luke’s father.

“That stopped being funny when I was in fifth grade,” said Luke.

“Join me on the dark side!”

“Nah, I think I’ll play on the light team this week.”

It hadn’t taken many pick-up soccer games for Luke to start wearing white t-shirts.

Unhypothetical Butt-Kicking

Amusing, , , , , , , , ,

“Who do you think would win in a fight, Luke Skywalker or Aragorn?”

“What kind of stupid question is that?”

“How about Gandalf versus Darth Vader?”

“I’m not even going to acknowledge anything so dumb.”

“R2D2 versus Gollum?”

“Try this one: my boot versus your butt.”

Surprisingly, the butt won.