I had the full set—beard and moustache—all through the 1990s and shaved for the millennium.

My wife and daughter screamed.

“Grow it back,” said my wife.

“You look fat,” said my daughter.

I grew a goatee for Movember 2014. Now my wife won’t kiss me until it’s gone.

An Irishman living in Brittany, Kerry is the author of the DCI Jones Casebook series of crime thrillers. Check his website for details.