Phineas Phelps found figurative fiction fascinating, frankly.
As an author, alliteration always added authenticity.
He carefully crafted creative copy, constantly cultivating killer quotable content.
Naturally, news networks need new knowledgeable know-it-alls, Phineas figured.
His hottest headline?
Prayer Park Pair Peeps Pope Pooping Per Private Property; Prez Promises Prompt Papal Persecution.

Jonathan writes written words by tepidly typing text. You can find more micro writing of his on Twitter.