Category Archives: Amusing

CRYSTAL MOORE: Hairy Situation

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

I should’ve shaved my legs, I think as my neighbor invites me in. Or worn pants.

He smiles. “Care for a drink?”

“No, thanks,” I say. “Just the phone.” I avoid his gaze and pull my bathrobe tight.

Then I call my roommate and explain how I locked myself out.

Crystal Moore doesn’t like to reveal much about herself, which is why she won’t be found working the pole at a strip club. However, she can be found dividing her time between the realm of her imagination and North Carolina’s Coastal Plain region. Her publication credits include humorous greeting card copy, children’s short stories, and flash fiction.

GINA LYLE: Striking Twice

Amusing, Artistic, Submissions, Top Stories, , , ,

“Wait!” bellows Thunder across the black landscape.

In a flash, Lightning returns. Deaf and beautiful, a moment of devastation; then darkness.

A beat.

A low groan echoes in pursuit. Fat tears fall. Intense light crackles as Lightning dances.

A beat.

Thunder howls through the skies, rumbling serenades to Lightning. “Wait…”

Gina Lyle is a Scottish and English Literature student in Edinburgh, currently enjoying a creative writing course and all the culture of the city.

DAVID WING: A Change in Management

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

It had started out as a cry for fairer wages, better living conditions, and dental. Then the revolt had become inevitable.

Santa sat in his cell and ate his microwave Christmas dinner. His wife had led the charge, and now she flew the sleigh. It was better that way…

Mostly.

David is a fan of Christmas, honestly. Last year he made his own crackers, minus the ‘crack’.

CONNELL WAYNE REGNER: Communication Breakdown

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

“I’ve been up all night. I couldn’t sleep.”

“We know what’s wrong,” they winked. “You’re in love!”

“No, I’m not…”

“You’re a sly one. Tell us who she is.”

“If you’d let me finish, I’d tell you it was diarrhea.”

“Oh, that’s a pretty name. Is she foreign?”

“BLOODY HELL!”

Connell believes that words can get in the way of meaningful communication. See more of his “Communication Breakdowns” at paragraphplanet, home.wtd-magazine.com and postcardshorts.com.

BARRY O’FARRELL: Call 911

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

When Facebook crashed for 14 hours, 911 was inundated with calls from millions of panic-stricken people. This was an emergency on an unprecedented, incomprehensible scale.

Their lives came to a complete, instant standstill. All they lived for had been taken away from them.

Thank God I am not a screenager.

Other stories by Barry O’Farrell appear in Cyclamens & Swords, A Story In 100 Words and of course here at 50 Word Stories.

JOHN H DROMEY: Tyrannosaurus Wrecks

Amusing, Odd, Puns and Wordplay, Submissions, , , ,

“I don’t like this alternate universe, Lucy.”

“Why not, Jerry?

“I’m afraid I’ll be bored to death. The only web browsers here are spiders.”

“You want excitement? Did you look closely at the steam-powered train?”

“What about it?”

“Forget cows and buffalo; the locomotive is equipped with a dinosaur catcher!”

John H. Dromey recently had short fiction published in Saturday Night Reader and a novella in Weird Western Yarns Vol. 3.

CHRIS J FRIES: No Imagination

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

I imagine us together.

I imagine you committing. I picture us making plans.

But you just can’t see it.

Instead, you yell at me to get off your porch. Then you slam the door.

So I take my Acme Vacuum sales kit and leave, hoping your neighbour has more imagination.

Chris Fries is a still-developing writer, slowly working to hone his craft. He is an engineer by vocation, a guitarist by avocation, and a writer by compulsion. So far, his blog has been his primary outlet for his quasi-creative meanderings.

KATYA DUFT: Wise Advice

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

Two teenagers were kissing on an escalator. An old lady stared with disapproval, but the lovebirds were paying no attention to anything around them.

When it was time to start walking again, she decided to warn them. “Be careful, two separate beds for you in hospital if you hurt yourself!”

Katya Duft is a translator, interpreter, and language teacher. She enjoys writing short stories, poetry, and her blog Tales from the Bus.

TL SHERWOOD: Say Sayonara to My American Car

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

I took my Beauty past eighty-two. During her thunderous last dance to the red zone’s outer edge, we melded into a demented mechanical dream. Down the sinewy stretch called Spooner’s Gulf, the Buick’s engine grew overwrought; her gears raged, but oh, how she and I flew!

Next stop: Toyota Town.

T. L. Sherwood lives in Western New York. Among other places, her work has appeared in Rosebud, Every Day Fiction, Ruthless Peoples Magazine, and Page and Spine. Her blog, Creekside Reflections, can be found at tlsherwood.wordpress.com.

DAVID WING: Turn of the Turnip

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

As the comet streaked overhead, the most extraordinary thing happened.

The turnips rose.

They pulled themselves from their beds and made their way to the streets.

Carrots followed and then potatoes, courgettes…

At some point we knew the vegetable revolt would come, but we imagined the sprouts leading the charge.

David is a vegetarian; he fears the coming storm.