“What are you making today, Geraldo?”
“My friend, I have many creations! Witness my self-baking bread, and these gingerbread men dance and sing! Marvelous, no?”
“Truly, but all I wish for are some buns to eat with my soup.”
“How sad,” said Geraldo, “that we live in such a world.”
This story is based on a title suggested by @Zutzy.
“Hello, nurse.”
“Good morning!”
“What’s on the menu today?”
“Appendix removal with side salad is on special, and Doctor Jones is whipping up his homemade double bypass.”
“Sounds wonderful, but I’m on a budget today. I’ll take a half-order of hip replacement, please.”
“Certainly. Don’t forget to tip your orderly!”
This story is based on a title suggested by @Invariel.
“They’re at it again.”
“Well, what do you want me to do about it?”
“Go out there and stop them. It’s bad enough they trespass onto our property. Now they’re starting to steal from us. I don’t know how much more I can take.”
“Honey, calm down, they’re just squirrels.”
Wendy Schmidt is a Wisconsin native who has written short stories and poems for the last 10 years. Her poetry and short stories have been published in Strange, Weird and Wonderful, Daily Love, Three Line Poetry, Tainted Tea, Fear and Trembling, and Midwest Literary Magazine.
Their sheds and bunkers were overloaded with guns, ammo, rations, reactors, and even entertainment, everything they thought they needed. For five years they had readied themselves for the invaders’ arrival.
The one thing they hadn’t counted on was the aliens’ overwhelming cuteness.
Psychologically incapable of fighting back, they were overrun.
This story is based on a title suggested by David Paye.
“I have a hard time making good decisions.”
“Yeah?”
“I always seem to pick the greater of two evils. Like yesterday I skipped my final exam to compete in a hot dog-eating contest.”
“I think I see your problem.”
“Really? What?”
“You consider writing an exam to be an ‘evil’…”
This story is based on a title suggested by Nathan Barber.
Herb barely beat the deadline. The completed report was faxed at exactly 11:59. When the fax machine displayed “successfully sent,” he took a deep breath and smiled for the first time in weeks. Unfortunately, he hadn’t noticed the sign taped to the front of the fax machine: PLACE FACE UP.
Bruce Harris is the author of Sherlock Holmes and Doctor Watson: ABout Type, published by The Battered Silicon Dispatch Box.
The cowboy drank until he’d had enough, then topped off his flask for later.
When he turned to go, a couple mean-looking gents had gathered.
“Had enough?” said one.
“Got my fill.”
“Well at this lemonade stand most folks pay before they drink. Now give the little girl her quarter.”
This story was based on the prompt “had my fill” at TypeTrigger.
Petunia and all the other ponies were excited for the royal parade.
In the morning, they were each given a pork chop and a pea. They devoured their delicious pork chops, all except Petunia. “Pork makes me bloaty,” said Petunia, and ate her pea.
The Princess chose to ride Petunia.
This story is dedicated to Mr. Denoncour’s 7th Grade class, which also provided the title as inspiration.
I used my best line. I’d been saving it for a week, waiting for the right girl in the right bar.
“Are you wearing bird pants?”
She corked me one right in the nose.
It hurt like reading Dickens, but my friends laughed a lot, so it was worth it.
This story was based on the prompt “corked” at TypeTrigger.
Living amongst death and decay was simply part of being a necromancer, but Khin-Topekh hadn’t expected so much loneliness.
Employing his best problem-solving skills, the necromancer went to the pet store and picked out a puppy.
Little Fidus made him very happy, until she started stealing bones from his corpses.
This story is based on a title suggested by @Invariel.