“What do you think would happen if a yodeler got turned into a zombie? Would it cry for our brains with yodels?”
“…No.”
“Ok, stupid question, fair enough. Oh man, you know what would be really freaky, though? Zombified birds. Because they could fly.”
Sometimes I really hate my friends.
@DashP responded to a request for two nouns and a verb with the words “zombie”, “yodels”, and “fly”.
“Ye gods!” exlaimed the Brundlefly.
“What is it!?” cried the Teleporter.
“It did it again!” shouted the Brundlefly. “The Teleporter just spoke to me!”
“Calm down,” said the Mutated Mannequin. “We all have the gift of speech in here, remember?”
“Will you stop making that infernal racket?!” demanded the Floorboards.
@Matt_LRR responded to my request for two nouns and a verb with the words “brundlefly”, “teleporter”, and “mutated”, which is actually two nouns and an adjective, but I decided to go with it anyways.
The cow’s tongue was rough and uncomfortably wet as it slapped its way across his face, licking and licking and licking. He was paralyzed with fear, sure it was getting ready to open its mouth wide and take a bite…
And that was how he got the nickname “Salty Face”.
“Sam? Saaaaaam! There’s a dwarfy elf thing on the lawn!”
Sam rolled out of bed. “Quit gibbering, woman! What is it?” He stumbled to the window.
There was a hobbit in the front yard.
“Dwarfy elf thing?” said Sam. “You have to read some Tolkien.”
He went back to sleep.
“My stuff is in the truck already. Where’s yours?”
“I still think this is a colossal waste of time.”
“Look, I don’t make the rules. On Boxing Day we pack stuff, drive it around, and unpack it again. It’s tradition.”
“No, it’s idiotic.”
“Are you calling me stupid?”
“Absolutely yes.”
“Crash!”
I covered my ears and cried, “What’s going on?”
“Bang!”
I shut my eyes and shouted, “What are you doing?!”
“Boom!”
I clenched my teeth together and grunted, “Stop, please! You’re frightening me!”
He said, “Look, you asked me to demonstrate what onomatopoeia was, and that’s what I’m doing.”
The cute little bunnies hopped along in a row, following their mommy.
“Stick close!” she called. “It’s just up ahead.”
They rounded a tree, and there, spread out before them, was a beautiful grassy meadow.
“Here we are!” said mommy bunny.
Suddenly, a punchline happened!
It was absolutely, incredibly hilarious.
Some folks say that when a red moon crests the horizon, twenty-three percent of the world’s pregnant women are within an hour (in either direction) of giving birth.
Me? I say it’s more like eighteen percent. A lot of folks like to exaggerate. I found that out the hard way.
“Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay yay!”
“What?”
“I finished my schoolwork for the whole semester!”
“So?”
“Yay yay yay yay yay yay yay!”
“What a freakin’ cop out…”
Randy burst through the door. “Mandy, do you only love me for my money?!”
Mandy looked up from her fashion magazine, startled. “What? No! Honey! I love you for your… well, for your eyes!”
Randy sank into his chair stuffed with hundred-dollar bills. “Oh, phew.”
Mandy gripped her eye-socket spoon.