Category Archives: Stories

Fixed-Term Residential Plan

He lived inside his phone, drifting from app to app and nesting in the dim recesses of the End Call button.

He’d been there since the rotary days. The passing years had drastically reduced his living space.

He had no idea how he’d fit his mattress into a Bluetooth headset.

Unregiftable

She watched arrogantly as the valet flung the bags into the trunk.

There was a tinkling crunch.

She turned to her husband. “See? They broke. I’m packing next time.”

He feigned sheepishness. Packing sucked, and they’d both hated Aunt Gertha’s gift. As far as he was concerned, this was victory.

Competing For Affection

She chose him.

I think what hurt most was that she didn’t choose me. I have nothing against the guy. In fact, I’m happy for him.

But why not me?

Did I use the wrong words? Did I smell funny?

Whatever her reason, I’ll recover. The world holds many puppies.

Signs and Cymbals

The day Tom was born, his father wore a high hat.

As a two-year-old, Tom loved taking a ride on his mother’s knee.

When he was four, he watched his brother catch rabbits in a snare.

At six, a pony gave him a nasty kick.

Naturally, Tom became a cowboy.


I know, I know, explaining jokes isn’t funny, but… form your own conclusions.

A Match Made in the Heavens

“Where have you been?” they demanded, leaning out of their windows in pajamas and nightgowns. “Did you get lost? Did you think it was funny?”

They hadn’t seen the moon in over a week!

Moon peeked over the horizon at her dearly beloved, the sun, and hid a contented blush.

Stop: Hammer Time

Fred was a frustrated fool.

“I’ve been trying and trying for hours,” he sighed helplessly, “but  I just can’t push this nail through this two-by-four. Do you think I’m doing it wrong?”

He looked over to his companion, MC Hammer, who prepared himself for the fulfillment of his life’s purpose.


This story is based on a title suggested by @danzama.