Tag Archives: mom

Lemon Zest Cookies

It was very important to Monika that she raise her children right. She taught them Kindness, and Hospitality, and Manners, and Decency.

But setting a good example wasn’t always enough, so she sometimes snuck a squirt of dish soap into her baking, just in case they’d been using naughty words.

This story was based on a title suggested by @BRSsexyman.


“Aww, where’s mommy?” they teased. “Is baby homesick?”

And she dried her tears and lied to them.

“I’m not homesick,” she shouted, and that wasn’t the lie.

“I don’t care about my mommy,” she protested, and that wasn’t the lie.

“Leave me alone!” she screamed, and that was the lie.

This story was based on a title suggested by Dan Hingston through the Facebook page.

Getting Stuff Done

“Do your chores, young man!” said Mom.

“Do your chores, young lady!” said Mom.

“Do your chores, middle-aged man!” said Mom.

“Do your chores, little baby!” said Mom.

“What about your chores, Mom?” asked Everyone.

“My chore is delegating,” said Mom.

The family called for elections. Mom stuffed the ballot.

Kitten Blanket

Kittens! Kittens everywhere!

It was terrifying. Mortifying. A nightmare.

She stifled a scream. Then she stifled a yawn.

The warm, cuddly kitten bodies, like a soft, purring blanket, lulled her, despite her best efforts, off to sleep. And as she slept, she dreamed about the tigers that ate her mom.

Junior Doesn’t Understand Women

“Dad,” said Junior, “I don’t think I understand women.”

Dad chuckled. “That’s common. Men never really know what women are thinking.”

“Yeah,” said Junior. “They open their mouths and all I hear is ‘blah blah blah.’ Literally!”



“Blah blah blah?” asked Mom, sticking her head in the door.

You Gotta Use the Right Bait

When his mother got home, the floor of the house was littered with nuts, sardines, bamboo, and corn.

“What in the world is going on?” shouted Mom.

“I’m hunting for a qualeor!” he grinned.

“No, you’re hunting for a grounding,” scolded Mom.

And then the qualeor burst through the window.

What in the world is a qualeor?

If you have an idea, why not describe it in a comment, or draw a picture of it (while it’s bursting through the window, perhaps?).

From MOM

“I hate cereal! I tell you this every. Single. Morning.”

“If you want waffles or bacon you’re free to prepare them yourself.”

“No way! That’s a MOM’s job!”

“Are you paying me?”

He was supposed to be. It cost thirty bucks an hour to get someone from Made Of Maids.