“I’m the best hyperbolizer in the world.”
“Stop exaggerating.”
“Have you ever heard of anyone else like me? I’m a world-famous big-talker, man! One of a kind!”
“There’s only one thing you could claim you’re famous for, and that’s the size of your head.”
“Yep! Biggest noggin there ever was!”
This story is based on the prompt “hyperbolic” at TypeTrigger.
She transferred to four different buses at random, closed her eyes and spun in a circle, walked down a few unfamiliar side streets, and wound up right in front of her house.
Again.
There was only one explanation: Mom hadn’t been lying; her father really had been a homing pigeon.
She sang beautifully. When it ended they rose to their feet in awe and appreciation, begging for more.
“Ever heard of having too much of a good thing?” she chided them. Still they implored her: a little longer!
To prove her point, she barred the exits during her three-day encore.
“You must sue,” said Bernard.
“Do I have to? I’m not feeling all that litigious.”
Bernard scratched his head. He had never had such a stubborn client before. “I’m afraid it’s your only option,” he repeated.
“Really?”
“Yes, you must, Sue. You see, I am wearing my law suit today.”
This story was based on a title suggested by Timothy Maness.
Lightning crashed.
Wind whistled through the trees. He was only halfway through Greensleeves before Lightning asked if whistling was not maybe just a bit too jaunty, given their predicament.
Wind complied as he helped his friend untangle himself from his airbag. “Just try not to crash so hard next time.”
Jeremy Petter is a student of English Literature and Theatre at the University of Victoria. Until recently, he wrote, performed, and sometimes edited funny things for LoadingReadyRun.com, but he’s on indefinite hiatus at the moment to grow his brain. He is a co-organizer of Desert Bus for Hope, and an avid fan of ducks.
He tried desperately to keep the merchandise hidden under his shirt, but the guard had already noticed his fumbling.
“Maybe you should’ve worked out a bit before trying to steal those heavy weights!” laughed the security guard.
“What do you think I want them for?” retorted the scrawny boy.
“Touché.”
Justin Boyd writes and draws the webcomic Invisible Bread and is half of the duo behind Left-Handed Toons. He previously contributed Dental Scare.
“Hallo. Leuk om hier te zijn! Ik ben klaar voor de hemel!” said the recently deceased Priest.
St. Peter was taken aback by the confidence and knowledge of the Priest.
“How did you know we spoke Dutch in Heaven?” he exclaimed.
“Because there was certainly no Earthly need for it!”
Gavin is a full time student who writes fiction in his free time. One day he hopes to write full time as he fears real work.
Modest Maude was a very proper woman.
No one had ever seen so much as Maude’s ankles or wrists, not even her doctor.
She had married a blind man, and still made him keep his eyes closed while she was getting undressed.
But her laughter made the stars come out.
“What do you think?”
“There are definitely ghosts in this house,” the second said.
“It is haunted, for sure,” the first said.
“Let’s get out of here,” the second said.
“Where shall we go?” the first asked.
“To a place that is not haunted,” the second said. “I hate crowds.”
Martin Jaeger has been published or is soon to be published in several print and online magazines. He tries to create imaginative pieces that will intrigue the reader, who will then have a greater appreciation for writers.
Why’d you do it?
I didn’t do it!
Three people say they saw you do it.
They lied! All four of them!
Three.
Oh, yeah, three.
You confessed to the arresting officer that you did it.
All cops are liars.
Suppose you could do it again. Would you?
Well, sure.
Richard Pannbacker is a retired biochemist/teacher/sheepfarmer living in Manhattan, Kansas. He is the winner of the 22nd Annual “Kansas Voices” fiction contest and has had stories accepted by Fifty-Word Stories, The Bad Futurist, Daily Flash: 2012, Subtle Fiction, Writers Amuse Me and The Right-Eyed Deer.