Tag Archives: lie

Don’t Tell Grandma

“What are your plans for the future?” Grandma asked me during dinner one evening.

“Er,” I said. “Um. Uh. I guess…”

“You should become a lawyer,” she declared, “and find yourself a wife.”

So I went straight home, fired up PhotoShop, and started putting together some grad and wedding photos.

When It’s Time to Party, We Will Party Hard (But Not Before Then)

When the Stevestons throw a party, they go all out. Balloons. Streamers. Karaoke. Tiki torches. Pony rides. Fireworks. Food from every imaginable ethnicity, and then some.

And giant cupcakes. Car-sized cupcakes.

Or so they claim. They’ve been living here for ten years, and still haven’t found a reason to celebrate.


“Aww, where’s mommy?” they teased. “Is baby homesick?”

And she dried her tears and lied to them.

“I’m not homesick,” she shouted, and that wasn’t the lie.

“I don’t care about my mommy,” she protested, and that wasn’t the lie.

“Leave me alone!” she screamed, and that was the lie.

This story was based on a title suggested by Dan Hingston through the Facebook page.

He Told Her

“I’m very rich,” he told her.

“I have seven doctorate degrees,” he told her.

“I’m an Olympic gold medallist in track and field,” he told her.

“I have starred in three different Broadway productions,” he told her.

“I’m wanted in fourteen states for forgery, perjury, and fraud,” he told her.