Tag Archives: milk

The Missing Milk

Johnny blamed the milkman.

“Why would the milkman steal the last jug of milk out of our fridge?” said mom. “He has so much of his own in his truck!”

“He’s greedy. He wants it all for himself.”

“Honey, that’s–”

“GIVE ME ALL YOUR MILK!!” cried the Malevolent Milkman. “NOW!!”

Milk, What?



“The milkiest. From cows.”

“From cows?”

“The cowiest. Fat cows.”

Fat cows?”

“The fattiest. They eat at McDonald’s.”

“They eat at McDonald’s?”

“The McDonald’siest. But only on weekends.”

“Only on weekends?”

“The weekendiest. They’re the farmer’s days off.”

“The farmer’s days off?”

“His offiest. He usually–”

“Wait… What!?”

Three Bottles of Milk

Gus poked his head into the fridge. There were three bottles of milk lined up on the top shelf. The label on the first one said, “Safe to Drink”. The label on the second one said, “Biochemistry experiment – poisonous!” The label on the third one said, “Other labels potentially backwards”.

The idea for this story came from a suggestion by @meur1234.