Tag Archives: physics

GREG HILL: Dark Matter and Special Relativity

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

“According to the cosmic microwave background, the universe is expanding at sixty-seven kilometers per second per megaparsec. But measurements using Cepheid variables suggest it’s almost exactly seventy.”

“Dad, I was asking whether you’re actually six feet or five eleven.”

“What I’m saying is… I mean… It depends on who’s asking.”

Greg Hill is a poet and a flash fiction writer in West Hartford, Connecticut. His work has appeared in Barzakh, Grub Street, HAD, NonBinary Review, and elsewhere. He and his wife enjoy the struggle of raising three determined feminists. See more on his website

JOHN H. DROMEY: Revolutionary Revelation

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, Submissions, , ,

The professor of Earth Sciences droned on and on. Finally, he concluded, “Therefore, it should be obvious that our planetary well-being is directly associated with its ongoing rotation on its axis.”

One student whispered to another, “What did he say?”

“I think he just made a declaration of spin dependence.”

John H. Dromey often has a story forthcoming somewhere.

NATHAN ALLING LONG: The Day The Earth Stood Still

Amusing, Submissions, , , , , ,

Millions of microbes live symbiotically on every body, but this particular infestation was way out of control. Gaia had tried shaking them off, drowning them with strong showers, even killing them with heat, but through it all they persisted.

Finally, she stopped spinning and watched them float off into space.

Nathan Alling Long’s work has appeared in over 100 publications most recently in Manhattanville Review, Mud Season Review, and The Journal for Compressed Creative Arts. His collection of fifty flash fictions, The Origin of Doubt, was released in Spring 2018 by Press 53.

The Gravity Police

Amusing, ,

“Excuse me, sir. You’ll have to come down.”

“Is there a problem, officer?”

“Well, yes. You see, you’re standing on the ceiling.”

“Indeed. What of it?”

“It’s against regulations.”

“What regulations are those?”

“Oh, you know, physics, mostly.”

“Ah, I wasn’t aware.” Fwump.

“Much obliged, sir. Ambulance?”

“…Yes, thank you…”

This story is based on a title suggested by @Vanguard1219.

Prehistoric Particle Physicist

Amusing, , , , , ,

Klug the caveman grunted happily. Yes, he thought. I’ve got it!

The sand in front of him was littered with physics equations, signifying a lifetime of theoretical contemplation. He’d discovered the mathematical basis of both teleportation and time travel!

Now he just needed a few millenia to invent the equipment.

This story was based on a title suggested by @abapicalTaenia, through his preorder of Feel-Good.