Category Archives: Amusing

JUSTIN BOYD: Dental Scare

Amusing, Submissions, , , , ,

“Hmmm, haven’t been flossing?” questioned the dentist.

I became increasingly more uncomfortable in the chair as she continued looking at my teeth.

“And you didn’t get her flowers for your anniversary?”

How could she know that? How?

“How… how did you know?”

“I’m your dentist,” she said. “I know everything.”

Justin Boyd draws LeftHandedToons, a fantastic webcomic drawn by right-handed artists with their left hands, along with Drew Mokris. LHT updates every weekday, and is the funniest comic drawn left-handed by right-handers on the internet.

Editor’s Note: I didn’t ask, but I’m assuming he wrote this with his left hand, which just makes it that much awesomer.

WOODY TONDORF: The Dark Chocolate Detective

Amusing, Submissions, , , , , , ,

I am the Six-Year-Old Batman.

I swore an oath on the grave of my tummy I would rid the kitchen of semi-sweet chips melted in crispy, chewy batter. By day I have a million open-air playdates. By night? I am the bib-caped crusader.

Cookies are a cowardly and superstitious lot.

Woody Tondorf is a writer/director living in Los Angeles. His newest series on Hulu, The Morning After, can be seen in every country that ends in “States of America.” For everyone else, there’s youtube.com/elevatorshow.

MCM: Inward Focus

Amusing, Submissions, , , , ,

The wind blew through the trees as the rain pelted down, streaming off the slate roofs, cascading like four waterfalls into the waterlogged courtyard. Three feet deep, and the living room had started to flood.

Janey looked to Max, the brilliant, infallible architect, and scowled.

“You’re kinda stupid, aren’t you?”

MCM is the creator of the award-winning series “RollBots” as well as the author of many books, including “Typhoon”, “Fission Chips” and “The Vector”, all of which were easier to write than this story. You can read and buy his writing at http://1889.ca.

Sunshine Guaranteed

Amusing, Odd, , , , , ,

“Oh no!” cried Granny Gramgrams as she watched the weather channel. “If it rains on Saturday, it’ll completely spoil the holiday picnic!”

“Don’t worry,” Sonny confidently assured her. “With my gigantic turbo fan, I can blow all the clouds away.”

That weekend, Sonny’s fan pushed Earth into an irregular orbit.

This story was based on a title suggested by Larissa Thiessen.

What Would YOU Do For A Klondike Bar?

Amusing, , , ,

“Welcome to Slogan Loco, where we bring taglines to life!

“Last week, we ‘gave you a break, gave you a break; broke you off a piece of that Kit Kat bar’: each contestant fractured two bones in exchange for chocolate!

“This week, what would you do for a Klondike bar!?”

This was story was based on a title suggested by Jordan Sevenhuysen via Facebook.

Squeezy Huggables

Amusing, , , ,

“Ooh, it says it’s recommended by four-of-five early childhood educators!” said the young mother, hefting a brightly decorated box. “Two for the kids, then?”

“Why?” grunted her husband, eyeing the Squeezy Huggables Parental Affection Replacement Device suspiciously.

“Between this and a nanny, we wouldn’t have to touch them at all!”

TANJA CILIA: Orange on Red

Adventure, Amusing, Submissions, , , , ,

All the food was orange: carrot soup, pumpkin pie, and orange juice. I didn’t like any of it, but I ate it because I had been taught that when you are a guest you must show appreciation of whatever you are given.

I’m not going to like life on Mars.

Tanja Cilia lives in Malta, Europe, with her husband and three children. She freelances for print and online media in Maltese and English. You can read her latest blog post for the Times of Malta here.

Not Patronized by the Over-Surgerized

Amusing, , , , , ,

“It’s barbaric!” she shrilled, her artificially smoothened, partially atrophied face stiff with a show of haughty dismay. “The thought of consuming such a creature!”

The manager watched the woman wobble out on four-inch heels.

“The octopus offended her,” he whispered to the chef. “With her looks, it must’ve seemed cannibalistic.”

This story was based on a request for prompts in the form of three adjectives beginning with the letters A, B, and C. The adjectives atrophied, barbaric, and cannibalistic, were provided by @keab42.

The Matador and the Yodeler

Amusing, Odd, , , , , ,

The care-free matador brought work home with him, dodging bulls by night and sidestepping commitments and responsibilities by day.

The stolid yodeler brought work home with her, bellowing music by day and shouting judgments and criticisms by night.

He reminded her of a song.

She reminded him of a cow.

This story is based on a title created by my sister, Lisa, while playing a microfiction party game that I will share via this site at some point in the future.

The Flee Market

Amusing, Puns and Wordplay, , , , , ,

“Grapplin’ hooks, skeleton keys, guard uniforms… I got everythin’ you need, man.”

“You charge a lot, Skivvy.”

“It ain’t easy to get stuff like this into my cell.”

“True dat.”

“But let me tell you, gettin’ nabbed for murder’s the most profitable thing I ever done. I’m makin’ a killing!”