“Do you play any sports, Kylie Marie?”
“Why yes, Fuzzily Bear! I play badminton, ping-pong, volleyball, and hoppity-scotch!”
“Are you any good, Kylie Marie?”
“I always try my hardest!”
“That’s code for ‘I suck’, right, Kylie Marie?”
“That’s not nice, Fuzzily Bear!”
FUZZILY BEAR’S WORD OF THE DAY IS: TACT.
He walked down the street, head down and diagonal to his current direction. Every now and then catching dim reflections of himself in the windows of parked cars. He patted and smoothed his hair, clinging to fragile perfection.
Just then a gust of wind blasted it into disarray.
He cried.
Will Dawson is an art student from Reading, UK.
The big grey wolf was very lonely, but its howling scared away all of the other woodland creatures.
One day it came across a chubby little baby bunny, which had gotten lost after a farmer killed its family.
The bunny and the wolf became BFFs. No one got eaten. Yay!
“Which way is the wind blowing now?” sneered the chimney to the weather vane.
The weather vane just waved left and right a little.
The chimney huffed grumpily. “You cost ten bucks at a hardware store, but you act like you’re made of gold!”
It was the height of vanity.
Our Hero stood resolute in the middle of the rain-soaked, corpse-littered asphalt.
Zombie earthworms.
They inched closer, exuding sinister inevitability, crushed, broken, bloated, wasting away, and hungry.
Our Hero calmly set a bowl of oatmeal on the ground, flavouring it with his own blood.
That should keep them. For now.
I asked, on Twitter, what I should write a fifty-word story about today. @dotsam wrote, “Saving the universe with a bowl of oatmeal.” @RacoonResidue wrote, “Zombie earth worms.”
Valerie the vegan decided to spend a week eating nothing but baby carrots and drinking nothing but water.
After one day she felt funny.
After three days she felt strange.
After five days she felt weird.
After seven days she felt… orange.
That evening, while she was sleeping, she sprouted.
Jared Brown, secret agent, mouthed a silent “Thank you” to the eccentric elderly gentleman who had insisted he install the high-tech self-deploying winch into the boot of his European sports car, which was currently hanging by said winch, with him inside it, from the ledge of an exceedingly tall cliff.
@captainmakr responded to my request for two nouns and a verb over Twitter with the words “car”, “boot”, and “hang”.
I chose to use the word “boot” in the British sense, to mean the trunk of a car. Creative license!
“Duck!”
“That’s not a duck; it’s a goose!”
It wasn’t a duck; it was a goose.
“No, I’m using the imperative form of the verb ‘to duck’.”
“Really? That’s one of the most obvious jokes in the world, like saying someone broke the G-string on their guitar.”
“Tee hee. G-string…”
When I asked twitter for a prompt of two nouns and a verb, @RvLeshrac suggested the words “Duck”, “duck”, and “goose”.
“What do you think would happen if a yodeler got turned into a zombie? Would it cry for our brains with yodels?”
“…No.”
“Ok, stupid question, fair enough. Oh man, you know what would be really freaky, though? Zombified birds. Because they could fly.”
Sometimes I really hate my friends.
@DashP responded to a request for two nouns and a verb with the words “zombie”, “yodels”, and “fly”.
“Ye gods!” exlaimed the Brundlefly.
“What is it!?” cried the Teleporter.
“It did it again!” shouted the Brundlefly. “The Teleporter just spoke to me!”
“Calm down,” said the Mutated Mannequin. “We all have the gift of speech in here, remember?”
“Will you stop making that infernal racket?!” demanded the Floorboards.
@Matt_LRR responded to my request for two nouns and a verb with the words “brundlefly”, “teleporter”, and “mutated”, which is actually two nouns and an adjective, but I decided to go with it anyways.