“Man, the new episode of that cartoon yesterday was phenomenal. There were a lynx and a puma, and they were riding around inside a jaguar…”
“What kind of Jaguar? An XFR? An XKR? An XJ?”
“…No, it was a robotic jaguar.”
“Like a Transformer?”
“I don’t think you’re understanding me.”
Can someone please please please please draw me a sketch of a lynx and a puma riding inside a robotic jaguar? PLEEEEEEAASE!?
This story was based on @gaymerinla‘s response to my request for two mammals and a vehicle.
George and Geoffrey Giraffe, those rascally brothers, were bored one day, so they decided to “borrow” a helicopter.
“We’ll have a whale of a time!” they told each other. “Let’s tie a net to the chopper and dredge up an orca!”
But they’d forgotten that their necks were so long.
This story was based on a call for two mammals and a vehicle. @BlameWizards provided giraffe, whale, and helicopter.
“Ten… Nine… Eight… Seven…”
“Ha! Poor seven. Gone before its time.”
“What?”
“You said nine ate seven!”
“…That’s really juvenile.”
“Oh, lighten up! Why is everyone always so serious around here? It’s not like we’re performing heart surgery or anything.”
“No. We’re just launching manned space flights.”
“Those are real?”
Cats smile because
But mostly, it’s the justifiable superiority complex.
This “story” is based on a title suggested by @Haberley. And for the record, I love cats.
Chester “Chatterbox” Paolo struggled against his bonds. “Let me go! I swear I didn’t say nothin’ to nobody!”
“Tell it to the fishes, rat!” said his assailant, pushing him off the bridge.
Chatterbox plunged. As the icy water filled his lungs, he began to regret his choice of gangster nickname.
Matthew Holman is a student of English Literature who finds it easier to write fifty-word stories than to finish his dissertation.
“She said yes!”
“Huh?”
“She said yes!”
“What?”
“I mean, I knew she’d say yes, but that doesn’t make it any less exciting!”
“Um…”
“I’m just so thrilled!”
“About what?”
“That she said yes!”
“I gathered that… Yes to what?”
“That she likes me!”
“…That’s it?”
“And we’re getting married.”
Sorry; I just can’t think about anything else! :)
I missed posting stories this week on Tuesday and Wednesday, and for that I apologize. I intend to fill in those two days soon, probably this weekend. I’ll write some new stories and back-date them, so make sure you check back for those.
The reason I missed those stories was that on Tuesday I proposed to my girlfriend, and she said yes! So I’ve been a little preoccupied with happiness and phone calls, and writing stories fell by the wayside. I’ll do my best not to let it happen again. :)
Thank you to everyone who follows to the site for being understanding!
A glowing box with a door poofed into the middle of the world’s first patent office with an electric flash. A haggard man burst out of it.
“Sir, quickly! I’ve come from the past to claim a patent!”
“Certainly,” said the patent officer. “On what?”
“I call it Chewing Gum!”
Gideon was filling in a hole. He was filling it with acid and dirt, but mostly acid.
He hoped a polar bear would fall in and have all its fur burned off, and then he could laugh at the bear for being naked.
His plan didn’t really extend beyond that.
“So are you in?” asked Janice, brandishing a stack of brand new business cards.
“I like your enthusiasm,” said the investor, “but…”
Janice frowned. “But what?”
“I’m not sure the world really needs a Leviathan Tamer.”
He felt differently in the morning, in a sort of slobbery, lifeless, half-digested way.
This story was based on a title suggested by @MisterFiendZero.