The Tweet Detective

Head tilted to one side, the Tweet Detective listened intently.

There it was: “Caw-tweet-caw!”

“I must know what species of bird that is!” cried the Tweet Detective. “It will solve the entire murder!”

He thought for a moment, then withdrew his iPhone, opened Twitter, and asked the internet for help.


This story was based on a title suggested by @Beryllium.

The Bird-men of Startaria

With their beady eyes and sharpened beaks, the old men from Startaria looked eerily birdlike. They were experts in appearance manipulation. Plastic surgeons and anthropologists from around the world spent lifetimes trying to learn the Startarians’ secrets.

But when questioned, the old men just made cooing sounds in their throats.

Martian Window Shopper

It stepped gingerly from floor tile to floor tile, peering through the panes of glass with eyes widened by wonder and awe.

“Why ya gettin’ all googly-eyed?” asked a child. “Ain’tcha never seen a candy store before?”

It hadn’t. And its translator was broken.

It felt threatened. It reacted poorly.


This story was based on a title suggested by @Keab42.

Autumn in the Pacific Northwest

After thirty days of rain, the clouds got bored, so they made it snow, instead.

People whined and complained, but the clouds didn’t speak English, because they had come from Brazil.

The local government hired some Brazilians to complain to the clouds on their behalf. It didn’t really work, though.

Hamburger Hank, the Purist

Hamburger Hank took three steps into the restaurant, gasped, spun on his heel, and stormed out.

“What’s wrong?” asked French Fry Felicia.

“They sell chicken as if it’s a hamburger!” cried Hamburger Hank. “It’s a travesty!”

“So what?” asked French Fry Felicia.

“I have a real beef with chicken burgers.”

The Cold Morning Sun Rises

“Hey, have I told you about the sci-fi book I’m writing? It’s set in the coolest solar system ever. The main characters live on a lava planet which is kept cool by the rays of an icy anti-sun.”

“…You can’t be serious.”

“And there are secret cloned laser cyborg aliens.”


This story is based on the title suggested by @Yax.

A Severe Case of Cooties

Kevin’s unfocused eyes were cast upwards, drifting lazily with the clouds. Half a smile played across his face.

The other half sat on a porch swing in her parents’ back yard, but it was hiding behind a coating of chocolate ice cream and actually had nothing to do with Kevin.


This story was based on the title suggested by @davefp.

The Adventures of Captain Scowlyface

Once upon a time, Captain Scowlyface found himself clinging to a slippery, moss-covered rock at the peak of a raging waterfall. He wasn’t happy about it, so he scowled so harshly that the river dried up , leaving behind a series of puddles that said “SORRY; PLEASE SMILE!”

But he didn’t.


@BearHawkWriter deserves credit for the title “The Adventures of Captain Scowlyface.”