JENNIFER SLADE: How Do You Plead?

Artistic, Submissions, , , , , ,

They played the tape of his wife’s murder for him and studied his face carefully. It was paper white. Innocent.

The tape restarted. Once more they watched the brutal stabbing.

Back at home, a single thought pounded through his mind as he stroked the still-bloody knife: “There was a camera?!”

Jennifer Slade: tall, beautiful, luscious blonde locks, sparkling eyes, excellent singing voice, doctorate in art and design… In reality, a high school student with a passion for drawing and music. She also has a vivid imagination.

A Wild Fruit’s Life

Artistic, Touching, , ,

The life of a pygmy banana is short and sweet.

As buds on the branch, they live with joy, innocence, and enthusiasm.

The growing process is a time of learning and maturation.

Some fall from the branch and freely give of themselves to the grateful wildlife.

Others simply rot.

American Idol Variant #21

Amusing, Odd, , , , ,

“Yo, man. I thought Randy carried this song. You got a great low-end range there, dog.

“But Paula, you were pretty pitchy, and Simon, honestly, work on your rhythm. You missed, like, half your cues!”

“Wow!” said Ryan Seacrest. “This is exactly why we’re doing American Idol: Judge the Judges!”

Mr. Mannequin

Odd, Touching, , , , , ,

Mr. Mannequin was not a particularly outgoing person. He was more concerned with the latest fashions than with making social contact. He was content to let others pass by and stare (in jealousy of his fine wardrobe, probably).

On Wednesdays, he tidied his master’s secret laundry room genetic engineering laboratory.

Foiled by the Cutesies

Amusing, Odd, , , ,

“You fool of a henchman!” cried the criminal overlord, with a mighty sneeze. “I’m allergic to cats!”

“But he’s such an itty bitty pretty kitty, isn’t he? Such a cutesy snootsy bittle snookums…”

“You fool!” cried the criminal overlord, with a mighty cough. “I’m even more allergic to lovey-dovey gibberish!”

STEPHEN PESTER: King Rigel

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

King Rigel watched as the ship drew out of sight.

The officials on board believed themselves bound for the Outer Lands. But the King knew: when the ship passed the base on Vallanger, the royal navy would completely destroy them.

Rigel sat back on his throne. He loved being evil.

Stephen Pester is a student from London with a completely unremarkable life which therefore leaves him stuck to find two sentences to write about myself. He guesses this counts.

She Was A Teenaged Aardvark Sculptor

Artistic, Odd, , ,

Her works were renowned throughout the world. She was a teenaged aardvark sculptor, the greatest that ever lived. She worked with stone, ice, and clay: every medium was her domain, subject to her whims.

She hid in anonymity, each masterpiece a portrait of self-loathing, of her wish for human form.

This story was based on a title suggested by @VikkieTheMimm.

TIM SEVENHUYSEN: The Man Who Couldn’t Stop Breathing

Amusing, Touching, , , , ,

His mighty lungs seethed with an expansive power that rivaled the greatest operatic diva. His inhalations were vortexes. His exhalations were hurricanes.

His breath was like clockwork, a regular, rhythmic, unceasing alternation of perfectly balanced forces.

It was this, alas, that caused his tragic drowning death in the kiddie pool.

This story was based on a title submitted by @inzyster.

American Idol Variants #14

Odd, , , , , ,

“Now I know my ABCs,” crooned the little girl, “next time won’t you sing with me?”

“Awesome!” said Paula Abdul. “You’re going to Vegas!”

“But I wan’ go home!”

“No.”

“Isn’t this exciting, folks?” enthused Ryan Seacrest. “Little Kimmy’s going to be our next finalist on American Idol: Toddler Edition!”

Todd Was Not So Brave

Amusing, , , , ,

Todd had several seconds to contemplate the feeling of free fall. He was surprised to find that he hadn’t passed out. Maybe he was braver than he’d thought!

The instructor joked, “What would you do if our parachute didn’t open?”

The rest of the descent was warm, wet, and awkward.