Tag Archives: dragon


“Halt, dragon!” called the knight.

“Who are you calling a dragon?”

“Oh, pardon me,” said the knight. “You looked like a dragon from behind.”

“How rude! I’m just big-boned!”

“I’m terribly sorry, gentle lizard. How can I make it up to you?”

“Don’t struggle,” said the dragon, and ate him.

The Awkward Commuting of Dragon-Hunter Darla

Darla’s commute was awful: it took two hours to get from her downtown apartment to the wastelands, where she hunted the secret dragons.

Her friends thought she was a paralegal. They might ask uncomfortable questions if she moved to the suburbs, and it was already hard enough hiding the scars.

NOGARD 10: Zombocalypse

Cliven dove head first into a bush.

He heard snuffling nearby, the sound of a predator searching out its prey.

“Dear Lord,” Cliven prayed, “I know my pet dragon started this whole thing, but… Could you stop the zombies from eating my brain? Please?”

The snuffling stopped.

The zombocalypse didn’t.


NOGARD 9: I Wanna Be Just Like You

Cliven followed the zombie dragon and the pudgy princess until they finally alighted on a rooftop.

“Nogard!” cried Cliven. “Come down! Please don’t hurt her!”

Nogard shook his head playfully, turned, and very gently nipped Emeldatine on the shoulder.

The princess started to cry.

Then she turned very, very pale.

NOGARD 8: Everybody Needs a Friend

Cliven ran frantically through the streets. Where had Nogard gone?

If I were a baby zombie dragon, he asked himself, where would I go?

Before he could answer, he heard a whoosh, a shriek, and a giggle.

Nogard flew by overhead, trailing flames, carrying a pudgy six-year-old in a tiara.