The day before yesterday, I was flying high. I had the tiger by the tail.
Yesterday, I crash landed. The tiger turned on me.
Today, I’ve got my feet on the ground. I’m looking the tiger in the eye. The world is my oyster: I’m putting on my water wings.
This story is based on a title suggested by @RubyCosmos.
Milt wasn’t wearing any pants.
“Hey,” said a guy walking by. “Why aren’t you wearing any pants?”
“Didn’t you know?” Milt said. “It’s no-pants o’clock!”
The guy scrunched up his face. “Is that some kind of joke?” he said.
“Nope!” said Milt.
So the guy took his pants off, too.
Ramone had a very diverse selection of friends. He enjoyed spending time with Havarti, Provolone, Mozzarella, and Brie.
He didn’t get along that well with Cheddar or Feta, but Gouda was fun.
Ramone’s mom told him, “Cheeses can’t be real friends,” but he knew better.
Oh yes, he knew better.
“I posit that the egregious offence committed by the defendant was an act of premeditated hostiliaminity!” shouted the Loopy Lawyer.
“I object!” cried the Batty Barrister. “My client pleads insanity! He thinks he’s a creaky shovel. Look at his fez! This marriage is clearly illegaloramious.”
“Sustained,” said the Jovial Judge.
The title for this story was suggested by ThePhailhaus. I was forced to use the words egregious, creaky, fez, and shovel. Ergo, the silliness of this story is all everyone else’s fault.