“The dog’s dead.

“I’m sorry. I know you loved Mozart more than you loved me. Even your mother came second to that mutt.

“Anyway, there’s nothing to keep us together anymore so I’m leaving.

“Please don’t call me.

“Oh, and ask your mum about that dent in her bumper.

“Bye!”

PJ is a British writer whose fiction is inspired by history, nature, and human nature. He’s lived in Switzerland for 20 years but still takes milk in his tea. Follow him at @Tweeting_Writer.