When asked if I am retired I respond:
“Although I draw Social Security, I get up rested in the morning, I enjoy my work through the day, and I become tired.
“Next morning, I’m rested. Though I enjoy my work through the day, I become re-tired.
“That is my retirement.”
Larry Darnell worked as a Manufacturing Engineer, then in sales in different fields. Now he is working on a book titled How I Evolved From A Chicken Into An Eagle, along with various other projects. He doesn’t think of himself as being “retired”; he just has more freedom to choose what he does during the day.
“I’m worried about our youngest daughter,” a concerned parent said.
“I’ve been monitoring Carrie’s online activity. In recent weeks, she’s posted dozens of photos on social media sites, and I’ve noticed she doesn’t appear in a single one of them. I think she’s suffering from low selfie esteem!”
John H. Dromey has had short fiction published in Black Denim Lit #7, Plan B Magazine, Plasma Frequency Magazine, and elsewhere.
“I love to see a man cooking. It’s something sexy to see the pot being mixed and the vegetables added. The aroma is out of this world. Mind you, only a man could spice up a dish like that.”
“You’re some kind of sicko. I’d much rather see beef cooking.”
Connell went off cooking programs a long time ago, but unfortunately not food. Read more of his fractured words at paragraphplanet, home.wtd-magazine.com, and postcardshorts.com.
“A grande Americano,” said the barista, smirking, “for…”
“Don’t say it,” I snapped, plunging my hand threateningly into the tip jar on the corner of the counter in the coffee shop.
“…A grande Americano.” He grinned broadly.
I withdrew the dollar I had deposited there earlier.
“Worth it,” he proclaimed.
A graduate of the Master of Professional Writing Program at the University of Southern California, Chad Greene experiments with twitter fiction at @TheShortCourse.
Secret Ops briefing.
“Our suspect is addicted to tanning salons. His getaway dogsled team was one husky short, so he substituted a gnome.”
“Sir, in mushing, haw is left, right?”
“Right, but the replacement was on the right.”
The sergeant pressed on.
“Welcome to the Hue Man Gee Gnome Project.”
John H. Dromey has had short fiction published in Gumshoe Review
, Plan B Magazine
, Plasma Frequency Magazine
, and elsewhere.
After the cheesy introduction of the chefs, it was almost time to unveil the competition’s mandatory ingredient.
In their stomach-churning anxiety to start whipping up dishes, the contestants waited… Most hoped for potatoes. Or beef. Or even scallops.
The host tore off the covering:
Sour glances were all around.
Joey wasn’t interested in writing while at school but has been writing on his own in recent years, mostly to amuse himself. He has been published at The Story Shack and Needle In The Hay. He dislikes cooking game shows.
“I wasn’t really expecting it to work.”
The door hangs off its broken hinges.
“I thought that she’d be so grateful.”
Elixir soaks into the discarded bandages.
“Why do women always leave me?”
The gilded sarcophagus is empty.
Tears are streaming down his face.
The professor really misses his mummy.
Deborah thinks: least said, soonest mended. Find her on her blog: Deborah Walker’s Bibliography.
“Eat up!” said Mom.
Victor stared at his plate. Yuck. What was this slimy, moldy, mushy gunk?
“Don’t you like it?”
“Gross!” said Victor. “Is this rotten food?”
“It’s your winnings,” said Mom. “The ones you gloated about after Monopoly. Like you said, to the victor go the spoils!”
I’m happy to announce the birth of my second son, Victor! This story is for him.
“I’m bored, Watson. I need something to investigate. Did anything of more than casual interest arrive in the post?”
“There’s a letter from Inland Revenue. They’re going to audit your tax return.”
“Why would they?”
“I’m a doctor, Holmes, not an accountant. My guess is you made too many deductions.”
John H. Dromey has had a short story published in Alfred Hitchcock’s Mystery Magazine, a mini-mystery in Woman’s World, plus fiction online at Liquid Imagination, Mysterical-E, and elsewhere.
He smirked. “Well the principle don’t rule us here!”
“You said you wouldn’t do it outta principle. I was making a joke.”
“Those words are spelled differently. The principal is your pal.”
“Mr. Jansen ain’t my pal.”
“No, it’s a mnemonic device, for remembering the spell–”
“Just smoke it!!!”
Caroline Shapiro is a writer and aspiring zookeeper living in Tucson, Arizona.