I’m calling to tell you: I’ve been kidnapped.
I laughed.
What’s funny, David? He’s got me trapped here…
Who?
This chubby elf-man.
WHO?
My CAPTOR.
You mean George?
Who the heck’s George?
GEORGE, your husband.
Later, George returned. He helped sprinkle salt around the house, to ward off the elves.
Piper Pugh is a writer and educator living in Los Angeles, CA.