As a robot, he was made of technology. He wasn’t really a fan of the stuff: when he wasn’t upgrading his operating system, he was patching his peripherals or flashing his BIOS.
But every now and then he got to update his firmware, and on those days, life was good.
The arena was packed tight with eager sports fans.
They were very fragile, so the shipping department had gone a little overboard on the peanuts and bubble wrap. There wasn’t much room to move, but on the plus side it meant they had both food and entertainment while they waited.
The world was made of peanut butter and apples.
Actually, it wasn’t, but Kimmy would’ve been thrilled if it was. She was a daydreamer like that. Once she had thought about the world being made of chocolate and strawberries. She wasn’t sure which she’d prefer. Maybe a continent of each.
Which would you prefer? Or is there an entirely different food combo you’d rather have the world be made of? Leave a comment!
Jane liked yogourt.
Jake liked pudding.
They had little spats about which one was better pretty frequently. Mother told them they shouldn’t spit, though, so they started having tiffs, instead. Mother told them tiffs were an outdated file format, though, so they started bickering instead. Mom said that was ok.
There were monkeys on the roof of the Johnsons’ house.
No one in the neighbourhood knew how they’d gotten there, and the Johnsons weren’t responding to complaints, even though the neighbours, quite helpfully, sometimes left big red barrels on their lawn.
In the Johnsons’ basement, the Transmogrifier hummed and buzzed.
Huddled in the muddy trenches, they dodged raindrops and warded off bullets with prayers.
“Man, this is really serious!” one soldier shouted to the other.
“Yeah, he usually writes lighthearted stories! This subject matter doesn’t really lend itself to jokes!”
“He’ll probably do some kind of meta-level cop-out with it!”
It was torturous sensory overload.
All the colours of the rainbow (along with a few nonconformist hues) strobed across a brightly illuminated screen. Dissonant, detuned tones blared and shrieked on powerful speakers.
He’d been told he was disabled, ineffective, useless. But the deaf, blind secret agent knew: ignorance is bliss.
He sprang awake, stifling a scream.
“It was just a dream!” he panted. “I’m not standing in front of the classroom in my underwear!”
“Keith, wake up!” shouted the teacher.
His eyes flew open and he blushed as the class laughed.
That was how Keith discovered his embarrassment-induced, false-awakening narcolepsy.
“Man, the new episode of that cartoon yesterday was phenomenal. There were a lynx and a puma, and they were riding around inside a jaguar…”
“What kind of Jaguar? An XFR? An XKR? An XJ?”
“…No, it was a robotic jaguar.”
“Like a Transformer?”
“I don’t think you’re understanding me.”
Can someone please please please please draw me a sketch of a lynx and a puma riding inside a robotic jaguar? PLEEEEEEAASE!?
This story was based on @gaymerinla‘s response to my request for two mammals and a vehicle.
George and Geoffrey Giraffe, those rascally brothers, were bored one day, so they decided to “borrow” a helicopter.
“We’ll have a whale of a time!” they told each other. “Let’s tie a net to the chopper and dredge up an orca!”
But they’d forgotten that their necks were so long.
This story was based on a call for two mammals and a vehicle. @BlameWizards provided giraffe, whale, and helicopter.