TIM SEVENHUYSEN: Horse-Whale Hoedown

Artistic, Poetry, , , , , , , ,

On Friday nights the walruses fight
They stab and tear and grimace
With merciless glee they redden the sea
The wounds they inflict are grievous

Alliances crumble, allegiances tumble
For walruses love to betray
Their blubbery bellies wriggle like jelly
With laughter, blood-lust, and dismay

On Fridays the walruses play

This story was based on a prompt from @Ad134, who responded to a call for two verbs and an adjective with laugh, betray, and blubbery. (I took a bit of liberty with “laugh,” though.)

Build Your Wealth

Amusing, Odd, , , , , , ,

“Honey, I’ve made a fairly significant purchase,” he told his wife.

“Is it a car?” she asked.

“Is it a house?” she asked.

“Is it a Learjet?” she asked.

“Is it a small South American island nation?” she asked.

“Yes,” he said. “It’s all on our very own Minecraft server!”

Like Inside-Out Acupuncture

Amusing, Odd, Touching, , , , , , ,

As a robot, he was made of technology. He wasn’t really a fan of the stuff: when he wasn’t upgrading his operating system, he was patching his peripherals or flashing his BIOS.

But every now and then he got to update his firmware, and on those days, life was good.

Logistics

Odd, , , , ,

The arena was packed tight with eager sports fans.

They were very fragile, so the shipping department had gone a little overboard on the peanuts and bubble wrap. There wasn’t much room to move, but on the plus side it meant they had both food and entertainment while they waited.

SEAN PRAVICA: The Ringer

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

I should have run for office when I had a fighting chance, before the scandals: my son’s arrest and my wife’s affair did me in.

Now it’s four years later and I’m getting crucified by my opponent; somehow she’s the one leading the polls.

My ex-wife hasn’t changed a bit.

Sean Pravica is a journalist and photographer living in southern California.

He Thought, She Thought

Amusing, , , , ,

He could no longer deny it: he was turning into a cat. He had thicker and thicker hair growing all over his body, he took frequent naps, he saw things during the night…

She could no longer deny it: he was getting older, and he thought he was a cat.

The World Was Made Of

Odd, , , , , ,

The world was made of peanut butter and apples.

Actually, it wasn’t, but Kimmy would’ve been thrilled if it was. She was a daydreamer like that. Once she had thought about the world being made of chocolate and strawberries. She wasn’t sure which she’d prefer. Maybe a continent of each.

Which would you prefer? Or is there an entirely different food combo you’d rather have the world be made of? Leave a comment!

He Told Her

Amusing, , , , , , , , ,

“I’m very rich,” he told her.

“I have seven doctorate degrees,” he told her.

“I’m an Olympic gold medallist in track and field,” he told her.

“I have starred in three different Broadway productions,” he told her.

“I’m wanted in fourteen states for forgery, perjury, and fraud,” he told her.

It Was A Dark And Stormy Night (Or “Meteorology 100: It’s Dark At Night”)

Amusing, Touching, , , , , ,

It was a dark and stormy night.

The meteorologists were all very confused. They had anticipated darkness (because the first lesson of Meteorology 100 is that it’s always dark at night, which tended to confuse the Alaskans), but most of them had only predicted light showers.

Actually, none of them cared.

HAYDEN JEFFERIES: Oops

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

Cheeks burning with the scalding flames of embarrassment, he walked swiftly in the opposite direction from which he had come. The startled shriek and the accusing scowl had brought him to the sudden realization that the pink room containing no urinals was not a place in which he was welcome.

Hayden always reads the signs now.