Once upon a time, the beautiful princess journeyed to the Moon.
It was cold there. Not even the Moon Badgers were warm.
Even after the princess skinned three Moon Badgers and made a coat, she was still cold. So she set her spaceship on fire, and everyone was warm together.
“Oh, come on, you’re pulling my leg…”
“I am not. It’s true!”
“If gasoline is really flammable, then why doesn’t my stomach explode? I’ve been drinking that stuff for years.”
“Well you’d need a spark to set it off.”
“Here, I’ll swallow a lit match to prove it.”
This story was inspired by a title supplied by @gameking128 on Twitter.
“Shocking, isn’t it? Can you take the heat? Try not to lose your cool!”
Bullman sighed. “So that’s why you have the electric eel, the soldering iron, and the snowball? Give me a break. This is embarassing.”
Doctor Awful shrugged. “I have a plasma shotgun behind me, if you’d prefer.”
Normally today’s story would be from a guest author, since it’s a Monday, but during the Contest period Mondays will be used for normal stories.
When they finally landed, they knew their plane would never fly again.
They gathered driftwood and heaped it into teepee-like piles. “These are not for cooking or warmth,” the captain said. “They are beacons.”
He hoarded the matches for weeks and used the last of them to signal the rescuers.
This story was based on a call on Twitter for the first five words of a story. @Honestlyspeakin provided the words, “Levilia’s wings started to burn”.
Levilia’s wings started to burn, sizzling and melting. Wind rushed past her face, ruffling her feathers but doing little to quench the flames.
“You can’t blow it out!” cried Natasha. “Use the fire extinguisher!”
There was a blast of compressed carbon dioxide. Levilia the self-immolating budgie cheeped in satisfied agony.
Two minutes later, the car was on fire.
“That’ll teach him,” grinned Jeff, phone to ear again.
“He’s cryin’!” laughed Turk from the other end, “Bet he wishes he paid up now!”
“Not so cocky without his precious blue Civic, is he?”
“Green Civic, dude. Green. The blue one’s mine!”
MCM is the author of The Pig and the Box and TorrentBoy: Zombie World, as well as the creator of the animated series RollBots. He is working towards certification for his insanity.
Flashing lights seared his eyes; sirens blared in his ears; acrid odours assailed his nostrils.
There was a pressure on his chest, a rhythmic, thumping, crushing pressure. Something popped. A flood of warmth rushed through his body. His chest expanded and contracted spasmodically. He was dizzy.
Twelve days had passed since my enemies’ arrival, each day spent cowering in fear under a mossy overhang as projectiles exploded left and right. Brokenness and waste were all around me.
Today, I would fight back. I felt my weapon’s comforting heft, stepped out, and soaked my cousin so bad.