“Hello, my friend!” twinkled Sir William Glowingsmile. “How are we this fine evening?”

Captain Scowlyface glared at the pompous fancypants so sourly that Glowingsmile turned around and took a swig of mouthwash.

“I see,” Sir William continued. “And your wife?”

Captain Scowlyface frowned so menacingly that Glowingsmile’s toupee fell off.