Late night coffee is the only thing that helps me sleep, although most believe the opposite is true. Within the silence, nightmares of your dying rise in a silent shout and the happy buzz of caffeine deafens them.
Eventually, my mind quiets from exhaustion and your ghost releases me temporarily.
Jessica Andrews is an Event and Wedding Planner who lives in Sacramento. She also stays at home with her twin children. She was an early adopter of the E-reader and finding that such an item existed was a dream come true. If she had her druthers, she would read and write all day.
Late night coffee is the only thing that helps me sleep, although most believe the opposite is true. Within the silence, nightmares of your dying rise in a silent shout and the happy buzz of caffeine deafens them.
Eventually, my mind quiets from exhaustion and your ghost releases me temporarily.
is true.- redundant to believe, not needed, saves 2 words for emotion elsewhere.
silent shout – shouts aren’t silent, sounds too poetic. I would like to hear the turmoil accentuated. – how about simply “shouting?”
Eventually temporarily.– I would like to see more creative description than eventually. The last line becomes powerful when the word “temporarily” is dropped.
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With those changes I would have given it 5*, I gave it 3. I don’t understand how the first person could give it a 1* without the courtesy of a comment.
Just my thoughts, Jeff