He didn’t mean to black her eye.
Yes, he balled up his fist, drew back, and let go.
But it was her mouth that did it. Her fault. Not his.
He barely touched her.
Yes, he meant to hit her. But the black eye? Well, that was just an accident.
Lucy Q. Williams is a social worker from the Hampton Roads area of Virginia. When she is not writing, she’s thinking about it. She is currently working on her first novel and tracks her progress on her blog at LucyQWilliams.com.
A couple suggestions:
blacken her eye, not black her eye
balled his fist – up is not needed
Jeff Switt
jeffswitt.wordpress.com/about/