Grandpa picks her up from ballet, lets her sit in the front seat. He has brought three tangerines wrapped in a paper towel (two for her). They eat them in the car. Later, she will forget to remove the peels from the cupholder; even now, his car smells like tangerines.
Julia Jorgensen is a junior at Stanford University studying Symbolic Systems and Creative Writing. She loves short stories, theater, and tangerines; she has definitely eaten at least eight in one sitting before.
Julia, try changing to first person. Just a suggestion. I pasted my try at your great story.
I jumped into the front seat of grandpa’s car; he always lets me sit in front.
“Two of these are for you,” he said, handing me three tangerines. We ate them as he drove me home from ballet.
I left the peelings in his cup-holder where the smell lingers, still.
Thank you–I like your version a lot! :)