Category Archives: Amusing

JORDANA CONNOR: Crackers and Cheese

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

Mustering her dignity, she says to the amused maître d’ – “I don’t usually produce crackers from my person”.

They regard the salty rectangle on the tastefully tiled floor, recently evacuated from her folded coat.

He runs appreciative eyes over her. “I’m just waiting to see if there will be cheese.”

Jordana Connor is a long-time scribbler and fledgling submitter of short stories and flash fiction. She enjoys excruciatingly bad puns, delicious swear words, and the Oxford comma. She lives in Brisbane.

MARJAN SIERHUIS: One Down

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

New Year’s Resolution: lose weight, join a gym, take up a hobby, learn to fly, quit smoking, quit drinking, go for an annual physical, stop biting nails, read a book, spend less, save more, get a job, quit swearing, submit to 50 word stories.

One down, twelve more to go.

Marjan Sierhuis loves reading 50 word stories.

RICHARD BAIGENT: Look on the Bright Side

Amusing, Submissions, Touching, , , ,

Should I reach out and take her hand? Will she shake it off? Can I pretend we just touched accidentally? That would be tough. Do I look at her when I take hold or do I pretend like it’s nothing? Tight squeeze or loose?

What if she holds mine back?

Richard Baigent has always wanted to write and has just started.

RICHARD NEVILLE: The Shoes On The Internet

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

Shoes have started to follow me around the Internet. What do they know about me already? I don’t want to touch them because I know what will happen if I do. It will only encourage them. There will be more of them. Legions of them, marching marching into my eyes.

Richard Neville is trying to write something every day. Today it was this. Only this.

JONATHAN ROMAN: Crowned

Amusing, Submissions, , ,

The implants changed everything. She had to adjust her posture & the way she walked. Even entering a room wasn’t the same. But she had no regrets. They could look into her doe eyes all they liked, but the majesty of the antlers guaranteed they’d acknowledge her as a stag.

Jonathan Roman is a poet & storyteller. He has a book of poems titled Deeper Into Winter. You can find more of his work on Twitter at deft_notes.

SHARON GERGER: Our Secret

Adventure, Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

I’ll calm you, I’ll keep you busy. I’ll scratch that itch. I’ll give you a reason to go outside for some fresh air. Sometimes, I’ll give you a rush. Most of the time though, I will just give you a measure of comfort.

Then, I will kill you.

Love,

Cigarettes

Sharon Gerger has been published in the Globe and Mail and Erma Bombeck Workshop and has a story in Laugh Out Loud, an award-winning book that is for sale on Amazon.

CLARE O’BRIEN: Give and Take

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

“Sometimes, when I look into his eyes,” said Chloe to her sister, “I swear he understands everything I’m saying.”

“Don’t anthropomorphise,” replied Claudette. “They’re only human.”

Chloe licked the man’s hand as he scraped leftovers into their bowls. What did it matter, anyway? They were onto a good thing here.

Previously PR to a politician and PA to a rock star, Clare now lives noisily in Scotland, writing her first novel, Light Switch. Her work has recently appeared in Mslexia, The London Reader, Spelk, Cabinet of Heed, Northwords Now, and anthologies from The Emma Press and Hedgehog Poetry. Find out more at clarevobrien.weebly.com.

JON KEMSLEY: Crypto

Amusing, Submissions, , , , , ,

I wrote it at my desk in a lunch break. Couple of things they hadn’t thought of. Open source code. Update schedules for anyone who cares to look. And a numbered bank account.

Secure by design? Don’t make me laugh. Back door on the latch is really asking for it.

Jon Kemsley has been published in Ellipsis, Ginosko, the Fiction Pool, New World Writing, Neon and others. He lives and works on the south coast of England, listens to old jazz records and occasionally remembers to call his brother about whatever it was he promised to do the last time.

GRAHAM ROBERT SCOTT: Eavesdropping

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

The morning after was brisk, quiet as ice. Each exhalation a white cloud; each inhalation, gag-inducing. As I hurled another shovelful of manure from our frost-slicked roof, reindeer bristles visible in the pungent matter, Dad grumbled on the other side of the rooftop ridge that he kind of missed Krampus.

Graham Robert Scott’s stories have appeared or are forthcoming in Barrelhouse, Nature, Blink-Ink, and Pulp Literature. See more at hemicyon.wordpress.com.

RON. LAVALETTE: Write What You Know

Amusing, Submissions, , , ,

Write what you know, they say
so he writes the first draft
of the fog and gravel of Route 16
all the way to work at sunrise.

Before the sun goes down
he’s revised the revised revision
until all he really thinks he knows
is what he says he’s written.

Ron. Lavalette has been widely published in both print and pixel forms. His first chapbook, Fallen Away, is now available from Finishing Line Press, and a reasonable sample of his work can be found at Eggs Over Tokyo.