I transferred the hook to her clumsy hand, my heart pounding in my chest. The lights in the room seemed more sinister reflected in the red glass. Maybe I shouldn’t have entrusted such a delicate operation to a toddler?!
…She did it!
The last ornament was finally on the tree.
Dave Cox is a native of the San Francisco Bay area and occasionally writes things that make sense.
“Don’t stand too close to the counter, or a spider might come bite your toe,” she tells me as I get ready to wash the dishes.
“Are you serious?”
She stops and gets that real hard thinking look in her eyes.
“Nah. If you wear sneakers you should be fine.”
Valarie Bradshaw is a nomadic mother who just graduated from college and spends her days in her pajamas writing all the stories that swim in her head. Her family is very patient.
“Thumb sucking can cause dry, irritable skin. Using a pacifier is a much healthier choice.”
“No. Pacifiers can cause speech impediments in children. Sucking thumbs is better.”
“Pacifiers can eventually be taken from the child. Thumbs cannot.”
“If a child uses a pacifier, its head may fall off.”
O.L.Humphreys is an aspiring author of humorous short fiction and a confused new father. He lives in Ealing, England. To date his only published short story can be found in Dark Lane Anthology Volume One. Keep up to date with his future publications on Facebook.
“I did it! I wrote a story in exactly 50 words!”
“Really?” Maxwell snatched the slip of paper from my hand. Crumpling it up, he shoved it into his mouth, chewed, and swallowed.
“You… You ate my story!”
Maxwell burped. “Your writing’s very tasteful,” he said, and left the room.
Bill Waters, a lifelong poet and writer, lives in Pennington, New Jersey, USA, with his wonderful wife and their three amazing cats.
Real men took it stoically.
Others disgraced themselves, behaving like children while the children themselves lay devastated.
Women wept silently or became hysterical.
Someone called for guns. Another for random slaughter on the streets. It was boiling over.
Man, the government got that TV satellite working again just in time…
Nick Pullen lives in England, plays the horses, and watches the fights.
Karen hated her life. Most teenagers do, but she thought hers was really crappy.
The neighbors were loud. Her neighborhood smelled terrible and seemed to be dissolving around her. Her parents had buzzed off and left her to wallow in her self-pity.
Such is life for a young fruit fly.
G.W. Lovvorn is an American writer living the good life in the Philippines, where he spends most of his time ghost writing for people who like to appear smarter than they are. (JOKES!)
The robots found the poet sleeping in an abandoned car. “You are charged with public drunkenness, tax evasion, and vagrancy. Surrender immediately.”
“I will, so long as you answer this question. Why does a cat sleep in the window?”
He smiled and closed his eyes as they contacted Central Server.
Jeff Holland is a handyman struggling to write. Fifty-word stories keep him sane. He needs to post more on his blog.
My cat stirred from her nap, stretching herself awake. She walked over and jumped onto the couch beside me. She gazed at me, her eyes apathetic, as she sat there. Judging me.
Frowning, I glared back at her, judging her for judging me.
I quickly gave up. I’m a loser.
C.S. Johnson wrote this story.
King came running, tail wagging, the carcass of the neighbor’s bunny dangling from his mouth. Quickly, Jonah stuffed it back in the pen beside the neighbor’s patio.
When the neighbors returned from vacation, they tried to solve the mystery of what sicko dug up their dead pet from their lawn.
Roger Miller is a writer and stand up comedian living in Philadelphia, PA. He has performed at venues across the country, often seeking laughs at taverns and pubs in towns he’s never heard of.
News from the world of science today; Top researchers at Cambridge University declared they have successfully identified the gene for male pattern baldness.
In other news, riots broke out today at laboratories of Cambridge University when news of the cure for baldness sent thousands of hysterical men clambering for follicles.
David writes things he finds funny. Sometimes they’re funny.