Queenie, fifteen, had two teeth, no claws, and had never been outside. Yet daily, on the table by the window, she patiently watched the birds.
One Christmas a startled bird flew in when the door opened, straight at Queenie who was ready and expecting. Christmas dinner and life dream manifested!
Kevin McManus is a wannabe writer and successful daydreamer who doesn’t believe in coincidences but does believe that we create our own reality, just as his old cat Queenie did.
“I looked at her and it was love at first sight. I knew she didn’t know I existed so I hid my glances. Then she got up and walked towards me as if to say something.”
“You’re so nerdy. Everyone can hear your narration from over there. Now shut up!”
Arthur pulled at the sword stuck in the stone. It came out easily. The blade probably was dull, but Sir Kaye wasn’t exactly the brightest blade in Camelot. Maybe they deserved each other. Taking this sword would save Arthur a long walk, and no one would ever know, would they?
Their insignificant lives were in her hands now; she felt no mercy. How oblivious of them to invoke her wrath by trespassing. She’ll effect a flood and watch them drown in pleasure. She was their god.
“Maria, lunch!” her mom called.
She left the ant-infested candy jar open.
“After lunch…”
Jim’s and Bob’s lives were inextricably linked. They scoured newspapers daily with no interest in modern technology.
One day, Bob read, “Jim Cooper: USA’s oldest man: Dead” and knew his time had come.
One-hundred-and-ten years old, he was now the country’s oldest man.
Worried, he turned to the horoscopes page.
Danny hopped into a black bumper car while Johanna hopped into a blue one.
Both drivers skimmed the signs on the surrounding walls. In large red letters:
CLOCKWISE DIRECTION ONLY
NO HEAD-ON HITS
Danny and Johanna exchanged glances, then sped to opposite ends of the floor, faced each other and…
Penny’s monkey (having graduated cum laude) threw a fit to attend the lecture.
Nettled, Penny acquiesced.
Once there, the monkey grew bored. It leapt from her lap, chattered towards the podium. Before a janitor could be summoned, the monkey had explained evolution.
Penny was expelled. But the monkey got tenure.
C. B. Auder shares over 90% of her DNA with monkeys. But only when they behave themselves.
Like a doppelganger, he emerged from the 1982 Datsun hatchback dressed as a pizza delivery guy. Complete with greasy pizza box, he sleazed his way across the street and up onto the front porch and rang the bell.
“Pizza for Tony Rizzetti.”
“I didn’t order a pizza.”
“You’ve been served.”
The literary works of Forrest Whitesides have been rejected by some of the most respected publications in the world.
Strutting down the street, Bubba yelled scornfully at the lesser humans scurrying into neighboring buildings. He had honed his 300-pound body into muscular mastery, and he knew it would handle any wind the hurricane could throw at him.
“Uh oh,” he whimpered, when he saw the Winnebago flying towards him.
Michael Coolen is a pianist, composer, actor, writer, and performance artist who lives in Corvallis, Oregon.
The North American Automated Missile Response System analyzes 1,542 sensors of all kinds. Final testing involved over a billion random simulations.
The combination of a power failure in DC, a fire in Chicago, an earthquake in Iowa, and a solar flare was one of the vigintillion conditions not tested.
Oops.
Harry Demarest has retired after careers encompassing scientific research, teaching at a university, software development, web application development, and voter database compilation and distribution. He is now spending his time with his grandchildren and writing memoirs and short stories.