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VIV BURGESS: Helpless

September 22, 2017Amusing, Submissionsfunny, meta, social media, Viv Burgess, writingTim

Fingers table-tapping impotently. Clock striking, but not the keys on my laptop. Blank face reflected on white empty screen mirrors the inside of my dark empty head.

I prod my muse. “Any thoughts?”

She waves a bottle in my direction, hiccups and sinks into a torpor.

“Try Facebook,” she mumbles.


Vivienne Burgess needs to get some perspective in life, get her muse off the booze, and take a holiday from Facebook. It’s not helping her creativity… or blood pressure.

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RYAN R LATINI: It Was Over Easy

September 21, 2017Artistic, Submissionsmysterious, never coming back, Ryan R. Latini, wistfulTim

Every time I eat here, I wonder if she’s still in the restroom.

I watch the cakes orbit on refrigerated turntables, a silent waltz for the ballerinas running omelets and coffee.

Back when she excused herself to the restroom, the hostess was probably still in diapers.

“Table for one, please.”


Ryan R. Latini is a freelance and fiction writer living in southern New Jersey. His fiction and nonfiction have appeared in Funny in Five Hundred, Red Savina Review, and The Schuylkill Valley Journal.

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MELANIE CRANENBURGH: Deadly Weapons

September 21, 2017Amusing, Submissionsfunny, irony, Melanie Cranenburgh, most dangerous animalsTim

Crocodile and Hippo were arguing over who was the more dangerous of the two.

Crocodile boasted, “I kill a thousand humans annually!”

Hippo scoffed, “I’m responsible for thrice that number of fatalities!”

Then a man came into view. Pointing at him, Crocodile sighed. “I think we finally have our winner…”


Melanie Cranenburgh lives in Western Australia, where a plethora of dangerous creatures make life interesting.

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KATYA DUFT: Paper Tiger

September 20, 2017Amusing, Submissionsfunny, Katya Duft, look before you leap, pick-up artist, twistTim

“What are you reading there? Looks like some serious stuff; you must be really smart.” He worked his usual pick-up magic on the train. Ask a simple question, then pay a compliment. Always works with them ladies.

Just not this time. “My divorce papers,” she replied angrily, and turned away.


Katya Duft is a translator, interpreter, and language teacher, and enjoys writing short stories, poetry, and her blog Tales from the Bus.

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DON NOEL: Earthworm Ruminations

September 20, 2017Amusing, Artistic, SubmissionsDon Noel, garden, ponderingsTim

In the garden, I meditate, motionless. Birds, ignoring me, flit to the feeder.

A fat earthworm scrunches and telescopes across the flagstones into the sunlight, toward the feeder. Seeking food? Do earthworms eat what birds spill?

Never mind. Robins eat earthworms. One pounces, plucks.

Pity. I might have gone fishing.


Retired after four decades’ prizewinning print and broadcast journalism in Hartford CT, Don Noel received an MFA in Creative Writing from Fairfield University in 2013 and has since published more than two dozen short stories and non-fiction pieces, with two novellas and a novel still looking for publishers. See more at dononoel.com.

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PRIYA BALASUBRAMANIAN: A Dream of Childhood

September 19, 2017Submissions, Touchingescape, memory, Priya Balasubramanian, trapped, wistfulTim

I am standing on wet ground outside my childhood home, under mid-morning tropical sun. The air smells of earth and newly banished rain. Adults speak indoors; their everyday worries are abstract, distant.

I wake up to a snowy Chicago morning, work on a weekend, and infant needing to be fed.


Priya Balasubramanian is a writer and physician. She’s written a novel, and no longer wakes up to snow.

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LOU ROMERO: Best Man

September 19, 2017Artistic, Submissionsbest man, courage, cowardice, Lou Romero, unrequitedTim

Your white veil is an impenetrable mist that I can’t get through.

Pastor: “The rings, please.”

I know your covered eyes are fastened on mine.

Louder. “The rings?”

I step forward, deliver the rings.

It’s not too late. Just give me a sign. Anything.

I step away. A coward’s destiny.


Lou is a retired archaeologist from the University of New Mexico.

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MARY SHEEHAN: Lady Luck

September 18, 2017Amusing, Submissionsfunny, Mary Sheehan, missing the signs, relationship, twistTim

He put a rabbit’s foot in his pocket, scoured the garden for a four-leafed clover, and hung a horseshoe on their front door for luck.

Sarah suggested he hang the horseshoe points up, to keep luck from leaving.

He ignored her, yet again.

So she left. She had warned him!


Mary is Irish, superstitious, and a believer in luck coming in threes.

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LINDA SCHUELER: Lost

September 18, 2017Submissionsamnesia, Linda Schueler, loss, painTim

“What do you want?” asked the nurse.

What did he want? He once had a house, but all he remembered was a tumble and then pain. Then he had lost it all: mobility, independence, dignity, his house. Now he was lost.

“What do you want?”

“I don’t know,” he said.


Linda writes for both children and adults. She blogs at lindaschueler.com.

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STORY OF THE WEEK: September 17

September 17, 2017NewsTim

The story of the week for September 11 to 15 is…

Anchorless by Mary Haynes

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