Tag Archives: child

So You Gave Birth to a Dinosaur

“So you say you gave birth to a… dinosaur.”

“Yes, doctor.”

“And that’s him, there? He looks quite normal to me.”

“He’s a dinosaur, really!”

“Well, if he is a dinosaur, when I place my finger in his mouth he should—HE BIT MY HAND OFF!!”

“I told you so.”


This was story was based on a title suggested by @Keab42.

Vegetarian Roommate

“There’s a monster under my bed!” whimpered Sophie.

“I know,” said Mom. “I put it there. It likes dark places.”

“Won’t it come out at night and eat me!?”

“No, it’s a vegetarian.”

Sophie put fresh heads of lettuce under her bed every day for the rest of her life.

Motivation

She literally stood on her head trying to impress Dad enough for one sincere compliment.

But he just smiled and said she was “gym-nasty,” so she jumped off the balance beam and tackled him and they both laughed, and he still didn’t seem to understand why she practiced so hard.