Tag Archives: child

So You Gave Birth to a Dinosaur

“So you say you gave birth to a… dinosaur.”

“Yes, doctor.”

“And that’s him, there? He looks quite normal to me.”

“He’s a dinosaur, really!”

“Well, if he is a dinosaur, when I place my finger in his mouth he should—HE BIT MY HAND OFF!!”

“I told you so.”


This was story was based on a title suggested by @Keab42.

Vegetarian Roommate

“There’s a monster under my bed!” whimpered Sophie.

“I know,” said Mom. “I put it there. It likes dark places.”

“Won’t it come out at night and eat me!?”

“No, it’s a vegetarian.”

Sophie put fresh heads of lettuce under her bed every day for the rest of her life.

Motivation

She literally stood on her head trying to impress Dad enough for one sincere compliment.

But he just smiled and said she was “gym-nasty,” so she jumped off the balance beam and tackled him and they both laughed, and he still didn’t seem to understand why she practiced so hard.

Kid Chameleon

When he wanted to stay in bed, he imitated a cozy blanket.

When he wanted to keep playing outside, he made himself look like a tree.

When he didn’t want to eat his broccoli, he blended into his chair.

Dad was usually fooled, but Mom could see right through it.


This story was based on a title suggested by @Vigafray.

Lie-Baby

“Aww, where’s mommy?” they teased. “Is baby homesick?”

And she dried her tears and lied to them.

“I’m not homesick,” she shouted, and that wasn’t the lie.

“I don’t care about my mommy,” she protested, and that wasn’t the lie.

“Leave me alone!” she screamed, and that was the lie.


This story was based on a title suggested by Dan Hingston through the Facebook page.

Martian Window Shopper

It stepped gingerly from floor tile to floor tile, peering through the panes of glass with eyes widened by wonder and awe.

“Why ya gettin’ all googly-eyed?” asked a child. “Ain’tcha never seen a candy store before?”

It hadn’t. And its translator was broken.

It felt threatened. It reacted poorly.


This story was based on a title suggested by @Keab42.