After being married for thirty years he thought he’d pretty much figured her out, but when she came home with a baby crocodile for Christmas he realized she was as beautifully, wonderfully mysterious to him now as she always had been, which wasn’t much consolation when it ate the dog.
Tag Archives: marriage
TIM SEVENHUYSEN: She Said Yes
“She said yes!”
“Huh?”
“She said yes!”
“What?”
“I mean, I knew she’d say yes, but that doesn’t make it any less exciting!”
“Um…”
“I’m just so thrilled!”
“About what?”
“That she said yes!”
“I gathered that… Yes to what?”
“That she likes me!”
“…That’s it?”
“And we’re getting married.”
Sorry; I just can’t think about anything else! :)
Teacup Wedding
“I posit that the egregious offence committed by the defendant was an act of premeditated hostiliaminity!” shouted the Loopy Lawyer.
“I object!” cried the Batty Barrister. “My client pleads insanity! He thinks he’s a creaky shovel. Look at his fez! This marriage is clearly illegaloramious.”
“Sustained,” said the Jovial Judge.
The title for this story was suggested by ThePhailhaus. I was forced to use the words egregious, creaky, fez, and shovel. Ergo, the silliness of this story is all everyone else’s fault.
THICKE AND EDGELOW 8: How Does My Future Look?
“Evan,” said Timothy Thicke, “do you think these crazy spy games will ever end? Will we ever be free to walk openly in the streets? Will I ever be able to start a family?”
Evan Edgelow thought for a minute. “Yes to the first two questions. No to the third.”
FIVE-WORD STORY: Arranged
New world record: fetuses marry.
Proposal
“Lights! Camera! Action!”
“Tamara, I’m not very good with words, but I guess what I’m trying to say is… Will you marry me?”
Tamara blushed convincingly. “Really?” she said. “Yes, of course!”
They kissed.
“That’s not how the script goes!” said the director. “Oh, I get it. Congratulations, you two.”