“Hello, my friend!” twinkled Sir William Glowingsmile. “How are we this fine evening?”
Captain Scowlyface glared at the pompous fancypants so sourly that Glowingsmile turned around and took a swig of mouthwash.
“I see,” Sir William continued. “And your wife?”
Captain Scowlyface frowned so menacingly that Glowingsmile’s toupee fell off.
“Do you drool while you sleep? I know I do!” enthused the man on the television. “Wish you had dryer sheets? I’ve got your secret weapon!
“Our patented combination of butter and mouthwash turns your midnight drool into sweet-smelling, easy-cleaning wax! You can even cook with it later!
“Problem solved!”
@Stealingzen responded to a call for prompts with the words “butter,” “mouthwash,” and “dryer sheets.” I admit I may have subverted his intentions on the dryer sheets a little.